TEXT THE EDITOR

Hey Noel, are you aware that your hero Eddie Jones and his English team were booed off their hallowed ground Twickenham, after a shocking display by getting beaten convincingly by a weakened 14 man Springbok team late last year. You would be well advised to take note of the recent statement made by the great Australian coach Bob Dwyer. Rennie wasn’t the problem mate. The players were the problem. Rangi.

I went to cattle auction and saw a Brahman Bull I wanted to bid on. So I asked the agent, how many farts per hour does it produce? The agent looked at me funny. I said I was just trying to work out how many of Albo’s emissions tax I will need to pay on that bull.

To all pet lovers in Australia, please support efforts to provide for domestic animals left behind in wartorn Ukraine. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Am I really bad at math or does margarine increasing from $3 to $5 exponentially exceed the alleged 7% rate of inflation (and it’s not the Lone Ranger in the supermarket, as well as huge increases elsewhere … think electricity, insurance, petrol, rates, coffee, eating out … everything). Farcical Figures.

Fitzy, other than the rampant corruption and not being permitted to walk down the street as a family of four as this was an unlawful gathering. I think that is what Kenny baby means. Ditzy.

Solution for all you poor victims complaining you cannot get into Burleigh Pav – GO SOMEWHERE ELSE. And if you feel so strong, get all your friends & acquaintances to boycott them, too. For you younger folk, please learn from the stupidity of your older citizens who thought it cool or tough to have neck & face tatts. Picasso

Oh what a dilemma for the two Southern Hemisphere teams making up the numbers at the World Cup – the Abs and the Wobblies. One side you have Foster, the other Eddie. Is the cliff an option. Big Artie

A croc is sighted off Nth Straddie. When are we going to get a state govt with enough guts to cull these killers? Qld, the NT, and WA must take away their protected status. Before crocs were culled, they never even had them around Broome in the Kimberley. The croc population is now out of control across Northern Australia, all because of these wacko Greenie environmental laws. Jolly Roger

Taliban must be havin a good chuckle over our war crimes investigations. War is war and there are bound to be casualties when there are no more black & white hats to tell the goodies from the baddies. Remember Vietnam! Broadbeach Oldie

I’ve heard if you cover your neck tatts with a silk, pastel scarf and combo it with sockless yachtie shoes you’ll gain entry to Burleigh Pav. Slab

As one writer pointed out, Mount Warning is only a hill in the Great Dividing Range just like a million other hills in Australia. If Captain Cook hadn’t noticed it and given it its famous name, we wouldn’t be talking about it today. Mount Warning was so named to warn seafarers of the danger rocks below. He only did this 253 years ago. TerryS

Michael Clarke still playing away games, even after retiring. Chopper

To no name who told me to take a chill pill … My agenda is to protect my community from outdated, extremely expensive, slow, noisy trams that are currently running in the northern suburbs with very low passenger numbers. My agenda is to NOT give the Chinese Communist Government another couple of billions of dollars to build the tram tracks for Stage 4. My agenda is to protect our Burleigh Headland Priority Koala Conservation Area and to stop the resumption of a portion of Tallebudgera Creek Beach. My agenda is to inform the ignorant who comment, yet have no clue about the reality of the destructive Light Rail. Karen Rowles

Sincere thanks to Hmph (GCB, 19/01), who’s reminded us that some things we accept as given aren’t so logical. Of course! A square peg will fit into a round hole if its diameter is less than the circumference of the hole, or whole. In the case of Hmph’s little square baking dish well, I’m no brainiac but if it’s glass or even tin the application of a hammer to the “peg” in most cases will allow removal although the peg may

present differently than before. I shudder to imagine whether this theory also applies to Molly. Rev SF.

So carrying knives in public will be dealt with severely. but wait. man gets caught threatening someone with a knife … no conviction recorded. unbelievable.

Paying to walk up Mt Warning is no different than paying the owners of any other private property used for tourism. All governments have laws saying you cannot enter someone’s property without permission. It is a British law bought to Australia, along with one saying you cannot steal someone else’s land. Sim.

Can anyone tell me what that “climate activist” Greta Thunberg does for a living? It seems she has plenty of time to protest/ but not to look for work? Cooly Kev

G’day I’m Dave. I’m a straight, white dude. Preferred pronoun ‘old mate’. I’m indigenous, born GC. Parents born in Qld. So I’d like to welcome you all to my country. Davo

Good to see Eddie on the job already sticking it to the NRL. He has only been on the job for a few days and is dominating headlines. Good stuff. Bobby

Youth crime is bad enough on the Gold Coast. But take a trip to Alice Springs, where it is catastrophically out of control. Both cities suffer from the same problem: not enough police and weak laws of Kumbaya socialist labour governments. Jolly Roger

Our unemployed rate stands at 3.5 per-cent when we have so many organisations calling out for workers. What happened with ‘work for the dole’? Squizz.

Some people only have dogs for a fashion statement. Barney

It is concerning that TV stations report recent drownings on our beaches this summer without mentioning that they were outside the flags and after hours. Surely news of a drowning while capturing viewers attention is a prime time to educate and do a public service. GN

NZ PM’s reason for quitting is that she is “human”. Is she trying to tell us something about the leaders of other nations?

The ghost who walks is on an undercover mission looking for Albo who is wanted on a return to Australia warrant for truancy and claiming payment under false pretences. The Guru

My suggestion for Alice Springs is the police hire a bus and have indigenous elders on it. Drive around stopping to allow the indigenous elders to assist and take responsibility and if required put the young ones on the bus a take them back to their parents and get them to answer to the elders.

Why, every year, is there so much drama about Jan 26, it is nothing to do with invasions or stealing the country from the aboriginal people, Jan 26 is the day we all, no matter where we came, became Australian citizens, we all became one nationality whether you were black, white, Asian, green or purple. Read your history books. Rogerinburleigh

The non acceptance of cash keeps making headlines. It shows a lack of regard for our citizens for government, at any level, not to accept cash payments. But, for private businesses, I don’t understand why they would restrict their ability to receive payment. At the same time, understand that if an agreement for the consideration to be made cannot be reached then the transaction cannot be completed. Many times I have left the unpurchased goods strewn all over the counter, leaving the shopkeeper less than impressed. But you can’t expect to call all the shots all the time!

Why did the chicken go to the gym? To work on his pecks. Slab