Fall from grace means there will be no dodging practice
WHAT goes up must come down.
As a physicist I am a good journalist but the laws laid down by Isaac Newton are immutable. We all know that. Even I know that So after such giddy heights as the previous week, come down we did. And come down we did. Hard. The Riv Raptors got a little too cocky after their (alright, our) triumphant trampoline dodgeball win in round one.
We were clearly the ones who would be getting a small picture in the Riv sports pages as something no-one else will ever achieve – inaugural winners of the twin towns’ dodgeball championship. But we weren’t expecting the CCCs. A bunch of unknowns whose weird name is explained by its membership makeup – chiropractors, chefs and caravan park owners.
And we got brought back to earth with a bit of a thud (alright, we got slaughtered).
Much to our embarrassment the game, scheduled to run 30 minutes, was all over in about 12, but still an eternity during which we were made to look sloth-like, uncoordinated and downright out of our league.
To be fair, we were missing three players and still a little sore after our first game.
Don’t dare suggest that’s no excuse because it is the one with which I am going.
Although it was a disappointing loss, I can report I came out of it feeling pretty good.
Probably because I was laughing so hard at my teammates getting thumped; time and time again, with a ball.
I’ve always been a fan of slapstick comedy and other people’s misfortune is just too good an opportunity not to laugh at.
I’m pretty sure I got knocked out a couple of times while I was laughing at other people’s expense.
Another reason I wasn’t too cut up about our loss was my impressive striking abilities.
I guess all that target practice at my sisters when we were young has paid off.
I managed to whack a few of the team’s best players during my occasional bursts of energy so I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I was up for player of the week.
If not, I’ll have to better my skills by practicing on my daughters as fill-ins for my sisters.
As it’s winter they won’t look out of place in several layers of thick clothes, an equally thick beanie and possibly (alright, certainly) a mouth-guard each and let them loose in the backyard.
And with a thick scarf wrapped around their faces will help muffle any screams.
So just a heads up to my neighbours: if you hear a lot of ‘excitement’ and whacking noises followed by muffled appeals for aid; there will be no need to call child services.
After all, it is good for them to get some exercise and the faster they can serpentine the safer they will be, er, I mean the fitter they will be.
And let’s be honest, it’s all just about fun, isn’t it?
You don’t have to win everything, do you?