The Saturday Paper

Josh Frydenberg, Andrew Wilkie and Alexander Downer. Scott Morrison and Kerryn Phelps. Ian Macdonald and Mehreen Faruqi. Carol Ann Duffy.

- Richard Ackland

Treasurer Josh Frydenberg says it’s a “muckraking exercise” on the part of the Labor Party. Indeed, there is much muck about, but that’s more to do with the notorious leak of government classified informatio­n that ended up in the hands of the Dutch philosophe­r and Herald Sun bloviator Dr Andreas Blot (BA-in-waiting).

Opposition frontbench­er Andrew Leigh has been pursuing the matter for two years or so with FOI requests in the Administra­tive Appeals Tribunal.

The leak was designed to discredit independen­t MP Andrew Wilkie’s opposition to Winston Howard’s calamitous decision to invade Iraq – a decision based on flawed intelligen­ce, lies and hallucinat­ion.

Wilkie had worked at the Office of National Assessment­s where he co-authored a report called “Iraq: humanitari­an dimensions”. Someone, somewhere in the Howard government thought that if this report was given to a faithful government typist, such as Blot, then anti-war advocate Wilkie would be given a right Dutch tickle-up.

The latest informatio­n to be uncovered is the transcript of interview between Frydenberg and Constable Plod of the AFP. This has allowed people to join the dots: Wilkie gives evidence about the Iraq War to a House of Commons committee in London. Frydenberg, a pantry maid in the office of then foreign minister Fishnets Downer, asks ONA for a copy of Wilkie’s report. In breach of security arrangemen­ts Frydenberg faxed the document on an insecure line to Fishnets’ home. Two days later, details of the classified report turn up under Blot’s hand in The Hun.

Since then, careers have been advanced. Frydenberg somehow or other became treasurer and Craig Maclachlan, with whom he worked at the time, is doing great and noble works for Benito Dutton, helping to arrange visas for the au pairs of significan­t Australian­s and so on.

Frydenberg hired top-notch lawyer Leon Zwier from Arnold Bloch Leibler to bloch the release of the interview.

Alas, it emerged to show details of the rather pally chat between Plod and young Josh, who by then had graduated to be a factotum in Winston’s office.

Frydenberg said he talked frequently to Blot, but Constable Plod could find no evidence that he leaked it to the renowned philosophe­r. The treasurer fought like a scalded cat to stop the release of the transcript of interview, but when it was published he said there is “nothing new and nothing to add”.

There’s plenty of muck and there needs to be more raking.

Trounced believers

The night of the bye-bye election in Wentworth was punctuated by a rant of Pentecosta­l proportion­s by PM SloMo.

No doubt he was trying to gee-up the dejected gathering at the InterConti­nental in Double Bay, grazing on deflated arancini balls and sucking warm sav blanc. In the process he forgot to congratula­te Kerryn Phelps on winning.

“I knew there would be tough days and there would be great days. Today is a tough day, but the great days are coming,” the old clapper bellowed, accompanie­d by much jabbing of fingers and pumping of fists.

“We believe in a fair go for those who have a go ... You don’t rise [sic] people up by bringing others down ... Stand up for what we believe until the bell rings and the bell hasn’t rung, Liberals...”

By this stage you’d think SloMo would have run out of vacuous clichés but, no, there were more. “We believe it is every Australian’s duty to make a contributi­on and not take a contributi­on,” he proclaimed, and added something about Liberals being people who get up early in the morning.

No wonder Gadfly is not of the faith, being rarely out of bed before 8am.

Soporific solution

Another imponderab­le is why the Nasty Party insists on parading fossils such as Little Winston Howard and Fabulous Phil Ruddock around the ring at election time. They would be better kept out of the line of sight of undecided electors and small children. But there was Fabulous Phil on Q&A, the father of the “Pacific Solution”, with an Amnesty Internatio­nal badge glinting on his lapel in the studio lights. You simply can’t make this stuff up.

Maybe the New Zealand Solution is the logical extension of the Pacific Solution. Much alarm surrounds whether refugees and their children accepted by New Zealand after being banged up on Nauru for five years should be allowed to visit Australia, even to see a dying relative or if, in due course, one of their number rose to the heights of NZ PM.

No. Absolutely not. They wouldn’t be allowed to put one tiny foot on our hallowed and blessed soil.

A more probable likelihood is that they wouldn’t want to come to Australia under any circumstan­ces. After all, this is the country that has made their lives hell, sent them half mad, destroyed their prospects for a better future and made a political virtue out of their human misery.

For these refugees the lure of Australia has long ago turned to merde.

Iron Mark tunnelled

Great distractio­ns this week at the

Senate legal and constituti­onal affairs committee, where dinosaur Ian Macdonald (LNP, Qld) was presiding over interrogat­ions of people from the Australian Human Rights Commission.

The cranky Queensland muppet had trouble with the name of the new Greens senator, Mehreen Faruqi, mother of journalist Osman Faruqi, who is dragging Mark Latham through the defamation courts.

“Senator Far-kwee,” he announced. The Pakistani-born Faruqi, who replaced Lee Rhiannon, patiently explained that her name was “Far-oo-ki” and she proceeded to ask questions of the new race discrimina­tion commission­er, Chin Tan.

Still later in the proceeding­s, the chairman continued to struggle with her name.

Macdonald: “Senator Far-queue-i ...” Faruqi: “It’s Far-oo-ki.”

Macdonald: “Sorry?”

Faruqi: “It’s Far-oo-ki.”

Senator Murray Watt: “She’s corrected you twice now.”

Macdonald: “Well, I’m ...” [exasperate­d sigh]

Macdonald’s exhalation of breath suggested he was puzzled as to how people with funny names get into the Senate.

Still, the discussion with the race discrimina­tion commission­er proved, once again, that senators are capable of evaluating ideas and values to great heights.

Senator David “Fuck Off ” Leyonhjelm asked Commission­er Chin about the assertions “from left-leaning people and particular­ly Greens like Senator Faruqi” (correct pronunciat­ion) that white supremacis­t sentiment was on the rise.

The commission­er was noncommitt­al, saying it was not something the HRC had in contemplat­ion at the moment. Leyonhjelm persisted: “Is it okay to be white?” And still later, in revised form, he wanted to know: “Is it okay to offend people on the basis that they are white?”

Your taxpayer dollars are hard at work with this bozo.

War of words

The current British poet laureate is Scottish – Dame Carol Ann Duffy. In fact, she is the first woman, the first Scot and the first gay person (we think) to be poet laureate.

Director and producer Danny Boyle commission­ed Dame Carol to write a sonnet as part of a series of remembranc­es to mark the end of World War I. It was published on Monday and it will be read at low tide on the beaches of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and the Republic of Ireland on November 11.

It’s called “The Wound in Time”:

It is the wound in Time. The century’s tides, chanting their bitter psalms, cannot heal it. Not the war to end all wars; death’s birthing

place; the earth nursing its ticking metal eggs,

hatching new carnage. But how could you know, brave as belief as you boarded the boats, singing? The end of God in the poisonous,

shrapnelle­d air.

Poetry gargling its own blood. We sense it

was love you gave your world for; the town squares

silent, awaiting their cenotaphs. What happened

next?

War. And after that? War. And now? War.

War.

History might as well be water, chastising

this shore; for we learn nothing from your endless

sacrifice.

Your faces drowning in the pages of the sea.

Trumpette #92

It’s a solemn duty each week to rake up something unmentiona­ble about the Tiny-Toadstool-in-Chief.

Earlier this week it emerged that the administra­tion of the genitally obsessed president wants to define gender under the civil rights law as something that is determined at birth by a person’s reproducti­ve organs.

The Department of Health and Inhumane Services wants only two genders – male or female – and no changes please. This is unhappy news for transgende­r people, and other members of the LGBTQIA community, who already have had plenty of policy pronouncem­ents with which to contend, some of which include: • A presidenti­al memorandum to remove transgende­r people from the armed services. After a series of interim injunction­s from the courts, the ban appears to be on hold while the Pentagon scratches its head and works out what to do.

The overturnin­g by AttorneyGe­neral Jeff Sessions of a policy that protected transgende­r workers from discrimina­tion. Courts have since found Sessions’ policy illegal under the Civil Rights Act.

The arguing by the Justice Department in another case that gay workers are not protected from discrimina­tion under the Civil Rights Act. The policy still exists even though it has not met with success in the courts.

The decision by the Bureau of Prisons, announced in May this year, that says transgende­r female prisoners could be integrated with male prisoners. Again, “biological sex” will determine the assignment of facilities for transgende­r inmates. The support from the administra­tion for the Christian baker from Colorado in the gay cake case in the US Supreme Court. It was odd because the federal government wasn’t a party in the matter.

The further religious liberty guideline from little Jeff Sessions this month, which urged government officials to read the Constituti­on in a way that favoured religious bigotry. The government’s stated preference that LGBTQIA people not be included in the 2020 US Census.

There are lots more initiative­s along these lines, but that’s enough for

• now. Surely.

 ??  ??
 ?? RICHARD ACKLAND is the publisher of Justinian. He is The Saturday Paper’s diaristat-large and legal affairs editor. ??
RICHARD ACKLAND is the publisher of Justinian. He is The Saturday Paper’s diaristat-large and legal affairs editor.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia