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A dad out Gor­don Park way went into panic mode af­ter green-light­ing his adult son’s plan to host a birth­day party in the fam­ily home. The deal was that dad would va­cate the premises on the night. Over a cof­fee the morn­ing af­ter, dad checked his Facebook feed only to learn that the neigh­bour­hood was all a-twit­ter watch­ing po­lice chas­ing two youths around the streets and over back­yard fences. Fear­ing the cul­prits may have been par­ty­go­ers gone bad, dad hit the phone. The star­tled host was unim­pressed by the rude awak­en­ing and as­sured the fa­ther that all the guests had slipped away – in an or­derly man­ner – many hours ear­lier.

“Is that the Mor­gans?” a teenager asked as he and mum drove past a snap­pily dressed fam­ily en­tourage about to knock on a neigh­bour’s door. The L-plater driver must have been re­fer­ring to a former school­mate of that name, so mum thought. Then the penny dropped: “Do you mean the Mor­mons?”

North­side Good­mailer was sure he had logged his home land­line num­ber with the Com­mon­wealth Gov­ern­ment’s Do Not Call Reg­is­ter to neu­tralise the preda­tory in­ten­tions of overseas call cen­tres. That was un­til around tea time this week when voice calls he kept miss­ing showed a lo­cal num­ber to call back on. Trou­ble was, it turned out it was ac­tu­ally the of­fice of his lo­cal fed­eral pol­lie that was dis­turb­ing the peace with some “sur­vey”.

Tacky email on Fri­day from a cruise pub­li­ca­tion pro­mot­ing its lat­est edi­tion. The sub­ject line was: “Mumdies af­ter fall­ing from Pa­cific Dawn; WIN a $10,000 Mekong cruise; Our ver­dict on Sym­phony and more.”

Col­league was un­able to use the fam­ily tick­ets she bought to at­tend the Com­mon­wealth Games rugby sevens so she ad­ver­tised them on eBay for just $20 more than the orig­i­nal cost so she couldn’t be ac­cused of be­ing greedy or a scalper. When her hubby said he couldn’t find their post­ing on the web­site, she went in to tweak the word­ing then “relisted” the tick­ets. A few min­utes later, she tweaked the post a bit more, then again clicked the relist but­ton. Prob­lem was, she wasn’t just edit­ing the orig­i­nal post but adding two ad­di­tional lots of tick­ets for sale. She later had to con­tact two very dis­ap­pointed buy­ers.


Two young fe­male mice are sit­ting at a lo­cal cof­fee shop catch­ing up when one of them says: “I’ve got a new boyfriend; would you like to see a photo of him?” Her friend says yes and the mouse takes out her mo­bile phone and shows her friend a pic­ture of her new beau. “OMG, that’s a bat!” her friend ex­claims. “What?” replies the mouse in dis­be­lief. “He told me he was a pi­lot.”

Sign on Mo­ray­field M ice dis­penser chutes it­self in the foot.

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