WHAT THE EX­PERT SAYS

The Sunday Mail (Queensland) - - NEWS -

WHY DIS­CI­PLINE ISN’T OLD FASH­IONED It teaches ac­count­abil­ity and cre­ates se­cu­rity First and fore­most, kids have to know they’re in a pre­dictable, nur­tur­ing and lov­ing en­vi­ron­ment. Dis­ci­pline within that kind of en­vi­ron­ment helps chil­dren learn that co-op­er­at­ing with oth­ers is im­por­tant. Kids like bound­aries Chil­dren do best when they know the lim­its, bound­aries and ground rules for the fam­ily (es­pe­cially when these lim­its are fair and open, and as they get older, flex­i­ble). The way you set rules with your kids and ne­go­ti­ate will vary with age. It en­cour­ages good be­hav­iour too Dis­ci­pline for mis­be­haviour should al­ways teach two things: firstly, that “no” means to stop the be­hav­iour that’s not al­lowed or that you don’t like. But it’s very im­por­tant to make clear what the ap­pro­pri­ate be­hav­iour is, and ask them to do that in­stead. Praise is the vi­tal flip-side to dis­ci­pline Don’t let the way you deal with mis­be­haviour un­wit­tingly feed that neg­a­tive be­hav­iour. Nag­ging, crit­i­cis­ing and all the ex­tra fuss can be just the kind of at­ten­tion your kids are after. In­stead, praise and en­cour­age the be­hav­iours you like and you should see more of them in­stead. It lasts a life­time Kids and teenagers who re­spect rules and bound­aries grow into adults who un­der­stand how to get along at work and in so­ci­ety, but prob­a­bly feel con­fi­dent enough to chal­lenge rules that seem in­cor­rect or un­just. Selfdis­ci­pline also gives us the abil­ity to reach per­sonal goals, plan for the fu­ture and work to­wards longer term re­wards. Pro­fes­sor Matt Sanders, founder of the Triple P – Pos­i­tive Par­ent­ing Program which is free for par­ents and car­ers across Queens­land

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