Sa­man­tha Army­tage

asks can you re­ally know who your “friends” are on so­cial me­dia?

The Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) - Stellar - - Contents - Sa­man­tha co-hosts Sun­rise, 5.30am week­days, on the Seven Network.

I’m go­ing to let you in on a lit­tle se­cret. I’m very dis­crim­i­nat­ing. And I don’t apol­o­gise for it. In an age when the world is be­com­ing smaller and so, so con­nected and dis­crim­i­na­tion is a dirty word, I’m think­ing about start­ing a move­ment for grumpy, dis­cern­ing, mid­dle-aged peo­ple who have re­fined tastes and ex­cel­lent judge­ment. udge­ment.

I’m sick of check­ing In­sta­gram to see how many peo­ple “like” me and I’m tired of build­ing my self-worth via the anony­mous hordes of haters aters on Twit­ter*. Most of the time, I to­tally for­get to Face­book, ce­book, too.

I want to o go back to the good old d days when you dis­tin­guished uished friends from other peo­ple.

When you ou knocked on some­one’s door, rather than just tex­ting xting from the car out­side “I’m here”.

When friends iends knew your mid­dle name, me, how you got your scars and nd your birth­day.

When they hey mopped up your tears rs as you cried over a stupid d boyfriend or held your hair air back when you con­sumed med too much Pas­sion Pop p at schoolies.

Can you tell from a per­son’s so­cial me­dia a ac­count how they treat waiters? What their re­la­tion­ship is like with their fam­ily? Or how short their fuse is? Be­cause these are the things that are re­ally im­por­tant in a per­son’s char­ac­ter. How can we call them friends if we’re not sure they’re go­ing to fly off the han­dle when they’re un­tan­gling the Christ­mas lights? Well colour me pur­ple, in real life we might not like these peo­ple at all. Tech­nol­ogy means most mos of the hun­dreds of thou­sands of “friends “friends” in my life these days are peo­ple I’ve never met. Now, don’t cry for me Ar­gentina… my real friends are real. A And thought­ful and mis­chievous a and fantab­u­lous. But who can y you count on these days? And why did those Sil­i­con Val­ley ne nerds have to bas­tardise that b beau­ti­ful old word: friend? M Most im­por­tantly, if I loathe so­cial me­dia so much, why am I such a slave to it? So many ques ques­tions, so many friends, so lit­tle time… All the ex­perts ex­per will back me up on this. Psych Psy­chol­ogy 101 says that the best re­la­tion­ships re­lat are formed when you ac­tu­ally get to know peo­ple, and that those who take their time en end up with more love and less chao chaos (and I don’t just mean dat­ing rela re­la­tion­ships here, I’m talk­ing friend friend­ships, fam­ily, work­mates, neigh­bours, neig peo­ple you meet at the dog park etc). If it’s true lov love you’re look­ing for, or true mate mate­ship, it pays to be ju­di­cious. So in this era where speed and con­nec­tiv­ity are val­ued (NBN: are you lis­ten­ing?), how can a girl re­tain her shrewd­ness?

In the fast-food age, when every­one’s a Big Mac, what do you do when you’re a slow-cooked lamb shoul­der?

Last week I threw out all the ratty old tea tow­els and chipped china in my kitchen, which proves that I don’t only dis­crim­i­nate in my per­sonal life.

And if man­ag­ing three high-pro­file so­cial me­dia ac­counts has taught me any­thing so far, it’s that it pays to be su­per choosy in who you “fol­low” (and to be at least 40 per cent smart arse in your life).

If life has taught me any­thing, it’s if you re­ally want to get to know some­one, get drunk with them. Also, trust your in­stinct and slow down. It should take time to get to know some­one.

Now if any­one needs me, I’ll be over here scrolling through In­sta­gram.

* And nei­ther of these things are true. I have a very healthy sense of self-worth, thank you very much.

“Can you tell from a per­son’s so­cial me­dia ac­count how they treat waiters?”

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