Sa­man­tha Army­tage

writes a poem re­view­ing 2018 – to a sound­track of Billy Joel.

The Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) - Stellar - - Contents - China bang­ing on our door. Obe­sity and sugar war; Kathy Grif­fin is a bore. I can’t take it any­more!!!

Santa’s nearly here, which means the Earth has nearly or­bited the sun once again, which means it’s time to re­flect on the good, the bad and the plain ol’ ugly in 2018.

If you will, please hum the fol­low­ing to ‘ We Didn’t n’t Start The Fire’ (with huge apolo­gies lo­gies to the inim­itable ge­nius Billy lly Joel).

Here we go… Donny Trump, Comm Games; Red China, Cricket shame. me. Mal­colm Turn­bull, in the he can; Sco-mo says that he’s our man.

Data har­vest, Face­book k dishin’; What a hor­ror, Bank Com­mis­sion. North Korea, South Korea; rea; Meg-han Mark-le.

Spice Girls back in song; g; Bieber mar­ried, for how w long? Thai boys, in a cave; 17 days, but they’re OK. .

ABC in a mess, Cosby jailed; ailed; Winx, the best. Blue Ivy, still a brat; Ap­ple’s worth a tril­lion. .

5G, We­in­stein, West Coast oast had a win­ning team. Stephen Hawk­ing, what at a man; War still in Afghanistan. Lake on Mars, we’re in space; Bit­coin, fall from grace. Barn­aby’s a naughty soul; Selfie at the Su­per Bowl.

Brexit, hey? Lost its way; What else do I have to say?

Horses on the Opera H House; Harry made a hand hand­some spouse. Bun­nings snags, o onion fail; Rus­sians in your emails.

Swift and Perry end their quar­rel; What you he hear? Yanny? Lau­rel? Saudi women w get to drive; Bour-dain, we m mourned a life.

Princ Prince Louis. Trol­ley man. Steve Smith, ex­ces­sive e ban? Fort­nite, K Kayne’s rants; What’s the go with Kim K’s pants pants?

Roost­ers win the t NRL; Play­ers put Greenberg through hell. US sanc­tions i in Iran; That’s the end for rud rude Roseanne.

Aussie farmer farm­ers are in pain; Bloody count coun­try, still no rain. Fires in LA and a Greece; cli­mate change gives us n no peace.

Skri­pals poi­soned i in UK; Ir­ish women have t their say. Perth to Lon­don wh what a coup; Way to go, the Fly­ing Roo.

A Star is Born, pass the tis­sues; Elon’s got a Tesla is­sue. Mel­bourne Cup, to a Pom; The Shape Of Wa­ter was the bomb.

The Soc­cer Cup, Vive la France; The Wal­la­bies are on their arse. Our cricket team’s look­ing icky; Why the sticky near the dicky? We didn’t start the fire… but we sure stoked it this year.

See you in 2019. Merry Christ­mas all. Sa­man­tha co-hosts Sun­rise, 5.30am week­days, on the Seven Network.

“The Earth has nearly or­bited the sun once again, which means it’s time to re­flect on the good, the bad and the plain ol’ ugly in 2018”

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