The Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) - TV Guide - - News -

If you grew up in the 80s like us, you’ll re­mem­ber a time when this TV guide only had four chan­nels. You knew it off by heart and you taped your favourites onto VHS. When our crick­eters wore yel­low but Richie still wore beige. No one gig­gled when you asked for a Golden Gay­time. And ev­ery­thing was mint.

A lamb roast beat Tom Cruise. Frank and Roo met at Sum­mer Bay be­fore your kids met them on Play School. You stopped for Ham­mer Time. Wally was The King. Gary Snr was God. And the Cup came to Perth about the same time we opened our first store in Vic Park.

Your hair was busi­ness in the front and a party out the back. Jeff loved youse all. You learned the crane kick. Your brother played in a dun­geon with dragons. Our most fa­mous red­head was a match. A per­fect match was peaches and cream and a coach and team.

Empty soft drink bot­tles were worth four Sher­bies. The April Sun was in Cuba. We all cried when Molly died. It wasn’t a good time to be called Sarah Con­nor. An ex­tra ter­res­trial in­vented the mo­bile phone. Hy­per­colour t-shirts brought a rain­bow to sweaty armpits.

LPs be­came CDs. Billy Jean was not his lover. Ev­ery mum had a Ken Done Har­bour Bridge tea towel. And when you were cel­e­brat­ing Aus­tralia’s 200th birth­day we cel­e­brated the sev­enth of our now 768 stores in 21 coun­tries.

Dou­ble denim was de-rigueur. If you used words like de-rigueur you were a yup­pie and prob­a­bly ate sal­ads with al­falfa. We all wanted Red to gong ’em. We didn’t start the fire. His name was Inigo Mon­toya, you killed his fa­ther, pre­pare to die. The cold war de­frosted and a wall came down.

Zeus and Apollo chased Mag­num. To cut and paste needed scis­sors and glue. Your wing­man was called Mav­er­ick, Goose, Ice or Hol­ly­wood. Be­fore he was a croc­o­dile he put a shrimp on the bar­bie. And a fish­er­man with 50 ki­los of crus­taceans turned Cash Con­vert­ers into a ‘prawn­bro­ker’ for a day.

The kids on the block were still new. Your neigh­bour Madge always fought with Mrs Man­gel.

The USA ar­gued with USSR. It was VHS vs. Beta, Sega vs. Nin­tendo, Madonna vs. Cyndi, Coke vs. Pepsi, Nike vs. Ree­bok and the Hulk vs. An­dre the Gi­ant.

Our PM drank beer, shed tears and called the boss a bum. An­other boss was born in the USA. There was acid wash, acid rain and Pur­ple Rain. Queens­land was beau­ti­ful one day, per­fect the next. Johnny be­came John and was The Voice. You lis­tened to the new FM ra­dio sta­tion with a blank cas­sette in your boom box and the record and pause but­tons pressed.

You smoked lolly cig­a­rettes. Un­less you lived in Vic­to­ria an im­ported beer was VB. Cops in Mi­ami had no socks. TAA was the friendly fly­ing way. Satur­day ar­vos were spent with Gibbo and Chap­pelli. An ex- Green Beret got kicked out of town. Cur­rent af­fairs shows ac­tu­ally had cur­rent af­fairs. And the TVs we got in our stores were a hu­mungous 27- inches. You also started say­ing hu­mungous.

Mrs Marsh always had some chalk. Kylie was a Mole. Some­one put Baby in the cor­ner. One dol­lar was pa­per then a coin. Princess Leia wore that bikini. State of Ori­gin was an Aussie Rules thing. You didn’t know what was in a Chiko Roll and you didn’t care. You were hun­gry like the wolf.

You looked in the clas­si­fieds for a sec­ond-hand 3-in-1 Hi-Fi sys­tem. The only win­ter that was com­ing was nu­clear. Raphael, Michelan­gelo, Donatello and Leonardo were not Re­nais­sance painters. Legs needed warm­ers, lace gloves didn’t need fingers and shoul­ders needed pads.

Han­ni­bal, Mur­doch and Face were in your favourite team but BA didn’t like to fly. Ev­ery school project was copied word for word from the World Book. The Grim Reaper was a 10-pin bowler. Cash was bet­ter than a Czech. And if you needed a bit of ex­tra cash, or a great sec­ond-hand bar­gain, there was some­where new you could go.

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