Let’s smell the roses

IT WAS a hideous shade of red. Somewhere between wine, which is what I needed a glass of, and my florist’s blood, which I was baying for. The bouquet didn’t match my sister’s maroon bridesmaid’s dress and the minutes were furiously ticking away towards the ceremony. We averted catastrophe by ripping off the offensive ribbon and replacing it with a leftover cream one from my stash of wedding decorations. With my heartbeat almost back to normal I ran through the arrival instructions again for Dad, who was at the wheel of the bridal car, about where to park and how the ceremony would unfold. What played out next was akin to complete failure and despair for a semi-control freak. Long story short, Dad almost ploughed into guests in the back row of the waterside setting, Mum ran down the aisle in a panic before the start of proceedings, in which she was meant to play a leading role, and my niece played songs out of sequence.

But it didn’t seem to matter. Instead of concentrating on what is wrong with your life, or on the things you don’t have, give thought and thanks for what you do have in your life.

It was an incredibly happy day; one of the happiest.

I’m blessed to have had quite a few but there have been a lot of tough ones too.

I’ve come to realise you simply can’t appreciate the good ones without the bad.

The truth is, life can be hard, sad, stressful, bleak, ugly and totally unfair.

And if I didn’t know it before becoming a journalist, I sure know it after 25 years reporting.

Murder, drugs, cost of living, desperation and destitution.

It’s hard to complain about wrongly-- coloured ribbons when there are many others so much worse off.

In a time when mental health has never been more prevalent, I wonder why society is struggling with the anguish. Have we lost resilience? Is life harder or more complicated now? Or do we just expect too much, too soon?

What if happiness is not a given and that the smallest of joys can actually be enough to enrich the soul?

In today’s Cairnseye, focusing on happiness, there is a little pearl of wisdom which strikes a chord. Think “Thank You”, it says. “Instead of concentrating on what is wrong with your life, or on the things you don’t have, give thought and thanks for what you do have in your life.”

It reminds me of some advice my wedding-crasher Dad tells me when he can see I need reminding.

“Just take a deep breath Jen and smell the roses.”

Hmmm, don’t they smell grand.

INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING ON WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR LIFE, OR ON THE THINGS YOU DON’T HAVE, GIVE THOUGHT AND THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DO HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. IT WAS AN INCREDIBLY HAPPY DAY; ONE OF THE HAPPIEST