Unconditional love goes both ways

The Weekly Advertiser journalist SARAH SCULLY will celebrate her first Mother’s Day as a mum on Sunday. Sarah and her fiancé Gerard Matthews welcomed Freddie Robert Matthews into the world on December 18. Sarah, who is currently enjoying maternity leave, has written about this special time for our Mother’s Day feature.

Some days, I feel like I am nailing motherhood. Freddie and I have read books and sung nursery rhymes, we’ve had plenty of cuddles and playtime, the washing is up to date, I’ve baked a cake for smoko, cleaned the kitchen and it’s not even lunch time.

Other days, my eyes are hanging out of my head from lack of sleep, the house looks like a proverbial bomb went off in it and I smell like baby vomit. I couldn’t be happier. I thought moving to London by myself was daunting and exhilarating, but it had nothing on the crazy, wonderful rollercoaster ride Gerard and I have been on for the past almost five months.

We often find ourselves looking at each other with a mixture of amazement, awe and pride, that we created such a perfect human specimen.

Then that perfect human specimen does a power spew on our oncepristine fabric couch or screams at us like the world is ending for 10 minutes straight and we are brought back

down to earth with a thud. Just when we start to think we might not be cut out for this parenting gig, Freddie’s face lights up with an ear-to-ear grin as he lets us know we are the centre of his little universe.

And so, the cycle begins again, as I imagine it will for the rest of our lives.

Before Freddie was born, Gerard and I would make predictions about what our baby would look like and which of our attributes he or she would have.

Now he has arrived, we love talking about what Freddie’s future will hold. Will he be sporty like dad or a writer like mum? Will he want to take over the family farm? Maybe he’ll be drafted to Essendon in the AFL or move to Nashville and become a country music star. The possibilities are endless.

It’s fun to speculate, but not nearly as enjoyable as watching Freddie grow long and strong and seeing his little personality develop.

He is already so switched on and inquisitive, and hates missing out on anything.

Throughout the years I have often heard women say their children are their biggest achievement, but had never given it much thought, until now.

A long pregnancy, the physical trauma of labour and sleep deprivation are just the start of the challenges I will face as a mum.

Whenever I receive a compliment about how happy or relaxed Freddie is, or how strong and alert he seems, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride; it is gratifying to think Gerard and I must be doing something right.

Our little family is also reaping the benefits of a strong support crew.

Between our family, friends and the Brimpaen community, a helping hand or a word of solicited advice is never far away if we need it.

From online resources and helplines to maternal and child health nurses, there is so much help on hand for new mothers these days.

I will be forever grateful to everyone who has helped me, particularly in the sleep-deprived, second-guessing, ‘please tell me I’m doing something right’ early days.

A special mention goes to the world’s best midwife, my sister-in-law Leah Askew, who not only delivered Freddie but patiently answered the millions of questions I had throughout pregnancy and gave me confidence I was on the right track.

I’m also grateful to my Mum, not only for raising me, but for her guidance during this phase of my life.

Watching her become a grandmother for the first time has brought me much joy.

I was lucky to fall pregnant at a similar time to several of my friends.

The experience of motherhood has brought us closer, whether it’s celebrating our babies’ milestones or sending words of encouragement if one of us has had a bad day.

Freddie and I are also part of a supportive first-time mum’s group, full of friendly faces and some stellar sconemakers.

It’s exciting to know Freddie already has so many ready-made friends and I’m looking forward to watching them grow up together.

While I absolutely love being a mum, it’s not always easy.

Sometimes I still don’t feel like ‘me’, sometimes I miss parts of my previous life and sometimes I wonder if I’m doing a good job.

But when Freddie’s face lights up upon hearing my voice; when he’s surrounded by people but only has eyes for me; and when he puts his little hands on my collarbones and snuggles in tight, any worries soon fade – because unconditional love goes both ways.