Uncle TopGear
OUR MYSTERIOUS AGONY UNCLE HELPS TO SOLVE YOUR DILEMMAS. SORRY IF HE GETS A BIT GRUMPY
Dear Uncle TG
I like the look of the Suzuki Swift Sport. What do you think? Rob, London
I think your eyes are working perfectly.
Dear Uncle TG
I need some new tyres for my Seat Ibiza. What would you recommend? TE, St Andrews
Round ones.
Dear Uncle TG
I was recently told my car needed a new ‘cam belt’ and the garage says if I don’t replace it, it will snap. What will happen if the ‘cam belt’ breaks? Clo, by email
Your car’s cam trousers will fall down.
Dear Uncle TG
I’m recently retired and looking to treat myself to a sporty two-seater, ideally with a soft-top and a boot that can take my golf clubs. Do you have one or two suggestions? Martin, by email
I do indeed have precisely two suggestions: 1) Jaguar F-Type. 2) Stop playing golf.
Dear Uncle TG
Mercedes Sprinter? Billy, Essex
Marmite hat? Your turn. I love this game.
Dear Uncle TG
My heart keeps telling me to buy an Alfa Romeo. Any thoughts? Is it time to visit my local Alfa dealer? Ginny, by email
You hear messages telling you to purchase large items and you believe they are coming from your heart? Sounds more like it’s time to visit your local psychiatrist.
Dear Uncle TG
I keep reading about car companies’ attempts to put more ‘smartphone’ features into our cars. Surely what they should be aiming for is FEWER distractions, not more. I have no interest in ‘Facebook’ or such like and do not want my fellow road users to be reading it as they drive towards me. Peter, Surrey My great-uncle Rex had a face book. He was arrested soon afterwards.
Dear Uncle TG
Can you sum up the diference between understeer and oversteer in plain and simple terms? RF, by email
Understeer: Aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuoooooogh. Oversteer: Oooooooooouuuuuaaaaaaagh.
Dear Uncle TG
I have recently bought a Kia Cee’d which I’m happy with, except for one thing. It has buttons all over the steering wheel and I don’t like them. Is there a solution? Jane, by email
Yes. Simply remove the steering wheel.