Welcome to TopGear, huge orange lump
Niches sliced so thin that they become almost indistinguishable from each other, design language so striking and recast it starts to get confusing as to which model you’re actually looking at without holding up a pound coin for scale – that’s modern Audi.
Not that there’s anything particularly wrong with that: the idea is that you buy the right Audi model for your lifestyle and that bigger doesn’t mean better, or posher. Except here, because the TopGear Garage Q8 is very big, and quite posh. And it’s also very goldy-orange.
Officially it’s called ‘Dragon Orange’, but I’ve settled on ‘Arghmyeyes Orange’, because in strong sunlight situations it’ll sear your retinas and leave an afterimage of a massive Audi burned into the back of your skull. I like it. So what is it? Simply the range-topper of the ‘Q’ (SUV) range. The 8 indicating the thickness of the technology wedged into the squat, wide, oxymoronic ‘four-door-coupe’ shape. You could mention – in a whisper – that it’s a Lamborghini Urus with a diesel, or a five-seat version of a Q7, a car that suddenly looks a bit like a minibus when parked next to it.
One thing it isn’t, is boring. Fat arches, cheesy-but-excellent dancing LED lights, plenty of space for five (really). Honestly, there’s so much to say, I’ll be spending the next two months explaining the basics.
2967cc, V6 bi-turbodiesel, AWD, 286bhp, 442lb ft 43.5mpg, 168g/km CO 2 0–62mph in 6.3secs, 152mph 2145kg
Yet another Audi niche. What does the Q8 do that all the other Audi’s don’t?
MILEAGE: 4328 OUR MPG: 39.3
It’s a four-door coupe. That’s a thing, honest