I asked questions, slowly, with an offensive accent
A good deal worse was being the only English journalist on a round table with five French journalists in Cannes, our interviewee being the French filmmaker Jacques Audiard, whose Dheepan the next day claimed the Palme d’Or. Each answer had to be translated for me alone. I could feel the disdain wafting from the pack as my arsing around in French GCSE classes meant precious minutes of our time slot were wasted. I even dared ask a couple of questions…
And then there was the time I interviewed Japanese legend Takashi Miike, and each of his lengthy answers was interpreted as a one-liner or less. When French auteur Catherine Breillat discussed The Last Mistress with me in 2007, meanwhile, it was the exact opposite – her clipped answers somehow flowered into insufferable rambles, leaving me to surmise the interpreter was just making shit up.
Worst of all is when a translator isn’t employed and the language barrier proves higher and wider than you expected. Speaking with Italian horror maestro Dario Argento on stage at FrightFest in 2010 (above) was like pulling teeth in front of 1,400 people. I’d ask a question, he’d shake his head. I’d ask again, s-l-o-w-l-y, with a rather offensive Italian accent – like that might help – and he’d answer an entirely imagined query in broken English with more pauses than words. Mingling with the crowd after, the same sentence came at me from all sides like an accusatory incantation: “Why didn’t you use a translator, why didn’t you use a translator, why didn’t you use a translator?” Jamie will return next issue... For more misadventures follow: @jamie_graham9 on Twitter.