Listen Up HOLLY WOOD

This month, the Abrams-teased Cloverfield 3. Buzz pitches four possibilities…

Crosoverfield

In the first step towards a shared Abrams universe, this film would see a group of amateur filmmakers flee the Cloverfield monster rampaging through the city only to run into the alien creature from Super 8. Eventually both beasts face off against each other in a monster mash-up that is only resolved when both are banished to a deserted island where – TWIST – the Smoke Monster from Lost enters the fight.

The Hangoverfield

Following the events depicted in the first film, the Cloverfield creature wakes up with a splitting headache surrounded by rubble with no recollection of the previous night. Retracing its steps, it uncovers a hilarious series of farcical events and misunderstandings, which all lead to the embarrassing discovery that – TWIST – it actually got married to a Vegas stripper. Mike Tyson will make a cameo appearance.

Tromafield

Put the sequel in the hands of legendary low-budget studio Troma to make a hilariously cheap and bad-taste monster movie complete with a plot about toxic chemicals and exploding bags of ketchup for the gory scenes. And – TWIST – the giant rampaging creature will be played by a guy in a rubber suit brandishing kitchen utensils. Surely this is must-see cinema.

They Think It’s All Overfield

Following on immediately from the first film, a relieved general public celebrate the death of the creature, until – TWIST – it rises up ready to kill again. More military bombings put it down for good, until – TWIST – it’s somehow still alive! It turns out that – TWIST – the creature has been dead all along and everyone has been seeing a ghost, but also – TWIST – it was all a dream. Or was it? TWIST. MLo