it shouldn’t happen to a Film journalist
editor-at-Large Jamie graham lifts the lid on film journalism.
Jamie’s had an awkward dinner or two in his time.
On the day I write this column, Cate Blanchett has been announced as the jury president for the 71st Cannes Film Festival and my mind is rewinding to an evening in 2006 when I had dinner with Blanchett to talk though her career.
It was May, a couple of months before Aussie crime-drama Little Fish landed on UK shores, and she’d reserved a hushed corner in a members-only club. I’d just been swimming and arrived ravenous only for Blanchett to explain she’d bolted down some shepherd’s pie with the kids, but I should go right ahead. Not wanting to devour a mountain of carbs in front of her, I insisted the smoked salmon starter – two transparent slivers bookending a leaf of lettuce – would suffice. Two hours and four glasses of wine later, I was hammered, slurring questions and going in for a hug goodbye before weaving my way towards the exit.
Set menu
Dining with the stars is a rarity these days. Interviews are usually conducted on the clock in hotel rooms. If you’re lucky, an A-lister might pour you a glass of water.
The place it’s most likely to happen is on a movie set, where time is money and the best chance to trade words is during actors’ lunchbreaks. On the set of Enemy, in Toronto, I queued in the canteen with Denis Villeneuve and Jake Gyllenhaal, then plonked my tray next to theirs like
I was part of the cool gang at school. Meanwhile, on a recent (embargoed) set visit where cast and crew were working ‘French hours’ (no lunchbreak means everyone has to steal moments to eat), one of the world’s biggest movie stars chatted while forking food from a Tupperware bowl.
Occasionally, a breakfast interview is arranged. Sienna Miller tucked into croissants, Margot Robbie raided the buffet, and David Fincher wolfed scrambled eggs with a colleague of mine – once said colleague had been steered to the correct table, that is, for he and Fincher had been looking at their watches on opposite sides of the restaurant for half an hour. My own eggs story is watching a hungover Heath Ledger chew woodenly during an interview for A Knight’s Tale. My recording spat out a whole lot of munching.
Which, in most cases, is the reality – far from being glamorous, dining with stars is a hindrance. Whether it’s being offered a cheese plate by John Carpenter or grapes by Adam Sandler or having my pot of tea painstakingly prepared and poured by Daniel Day-Lewis, the clock, all the while, is ticking. In fact, you really can’t win – when Paul Bettany let his spaghetti bolognese go cold to answer questions, I felt terrible. When he finally tucked in, I begrudged each mouthful for eating up our time.
Food porn
Still, all of the above offer stories to dine out on. One colleague likes to remind everyone of the time Stellan Skarsgård ate offal from her plate, while another TF staffer shared fried grasshoppers with Tony ‘Candyman’ Todd in New York and enjoyed a spit roast with Charles Dance (she’s referring to the rotisserie at the Game Of Thrones launch party, naturally). My own favourite? Well, that’s between eating Japanese with Dario Argento, who three times dropped a chopstick and then accidentally used one of mine, or listening to Quentin Tarantino bellow graphic details of the 3D porn movie he’d make while the tables around us fell silent. Or perhaps it’s that night with Blanchett. Did I mention that I got halfway down the road before realising I’d not offered to pay? I returned just as she’d settled up, and my drunken offer to walk her to the nearest cashpoint so I could refund her fell on deaf ears.
Jamie will return next issue… For more misadventures, follow: @jamie_graham9 on Twitter.
‘I QUEUED UP WITH JAKE GYLLENHAAL, LIKE I WAS PART OF THE COOL GANG AT SCHOOL’