STAR LETTER
While messaging my wife in regard to arranging a cinema trip, I couldn’t help but laugh at predictive text changing the title to Ant-Man And The Scottish Woman. This led me to test other Avengers; results included Iron Man And His Dog, Captain America And Europe (the answer to Brexit?!), The Hulk To Do It All Wrong, Thor Is The Forbidden Fruit, Black Widow The Right Set Of Wheels To Fight, Hawkeye And His Own Coffee Beans, Vision For A Bit More Meat and Black Panther Party In Brum. Could be some options if they run out of ideas, post-Avengers 4. I like the idea of Tony playing with his dog then full-on losing his shit à la John Wick when it’s killed by some big bad. JOHN HORTON, TAMWORTH …And the good news for dog lovers is that Rover would be resurrected one movie later, possibly with rocket paws. Dialogue’s own predictive take on the MCU yielded Indignity War, Guardians Of The Gap, Spider-Man: Fiddling (well, he is still a young man) and the rallying cry, ‘Amanda forever!’ Yeah, we might leave the filmmaking to Feige. John and everyone with a letter here will receive a copy of – what are the chances? - Avengers: Infinity War, out now on Digital HD, 4k Ultra HD, 3D Blu-ray, Blu-ray and DVD, via Disney. Didn’t send an address? Email it! It’s about Thanos, The Mad Tiramisu.
SHARK-MAIL-DO
This is a film for the family, says Jason Statham in your magazine [TF275]. And there’s the problem.
I’m sorry, a film that’s about a 70ft shark shouldn’t be for the family. That was a bit of a let-down for me and, it seems, a lot of other people. I’m no massive Eli Roth fan but his R-rated version would have been better. I came home and watched Jaws – now that is a movie. DEV ORTON, LEEDS
Iwas apprehensive about Jason Statham’s Walking With Dinosaurs remake The Meg, and when I entered the cinema, something definitely smelled a bit fishy. Thankfully, that was just the feet of the person next to me. The film turned out to be quite an enjoyable romp. I am a bit worried about my visit to the sea-life centre next week, though.
In your feature on The Meg you say “Li Bingbing, perhaps best know in the West as Blink in X-Men: Days Of Future Past…” Guess what? You got the wrong Bingbing – that’s FAN Bingbing. Li Bingbing was in Resident Evil: Retribution and Transformers: Age Of Extinction. Sincere apologies for the name mixup; the responsible parties have been made to watch Sharktopus Vs Whalewolf on a loop (actually, that might not be punishment for one of said parties). Not unlike the beast itself, The Meg seems to have split viewers down the middle; love it or laugh at it, it’s gobbled enough dollars for a sequel or three. Are we going to see Mog in the next one?
WINNIE-THE-BOO!
Heeeeere’s Winnie!” Is it just me or does the trailer for Christopher Robin have a horror-movie vibe about it? You know, what with Ewan McGregor’s permanently worried face and the possessed-looking old stuffed toys, with their malevolent, glassyeyed stares… I remember Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and Eeyore as a cuddly bunch, but this lot just seemed to be a bit creepy. It felt more like, um… Cabin In The Hundred Acre Woods?! JACKY H, VIA EMAIL We get where you’re coming from, but really, there’s nothing to worry about; the film really settles into a warm, honey-sweet family groove.