It shouldn’t happen to a film journalist
Editor-at-large Jamie graham lifts the lid on film journalism. this month buying DVDS and blu-rays
Jamie conquers the mountain that is his massive DVD collection.
Six months ago, my wife requested a moratorium on my buying of DVDs and Blu-rays. I don’t blame her – I have not one, not two, but three towering ‘to-watch’ piles next to the TV, while the guest bedroom can no longer fulfil its purpose because it’s the permanent residence of creaking, double-stacked shelves that line all four walls from floor to ceiling. Rogue piles litter the floor. Sometimes, in the dead of night, these precarious Jenga blocks can be heard crashing to the ground when our cats Meryl (Streep) and Sissy (Spacek) try to wend a path to their favourite chair.
My obsession with regards to “building a comprehensive collection” has always been driven by wanting to be sure that I own whatever movie I might fancy on any given night. “But films you bought 10 years ago are still in their plastic wrapping,” my wife points out, sensibly, to which I always reply, “But there might come a night, in another five years’ time, when only Ishtar will do.” I can then be relied upon to repeat the story that Woody Allen once told me about why he has to live in Manhattan:
“If I wake up wanting Chinese food at 4am, I need to know
I can get it. Of course, I never wake up at 4am wanting Chinese food. But if I do…”
Click bait
Trouble is, the last couple of years have seen my trusted argument wearing thin. As digital media takes over, a collection more comprehensive than any I could ever build for myself is just a click away. Hell, I’ve even reached a level of laziness comparable to the sedentary blob-people in the second half of WALL· E, meaning I’ll happily click to view a movie on Netflix or BFI Player or Curzon Home Cinema that I have in the spare bedroom but can’t be arsed to fetch.
“Ooh, I’ve fancied revisiting We Own the
Night for ages,” I joyously declared just last week, clicking on James Gray’s sorely underrated crime flick on MUBI. Without saying a word, my wife rose from the sofa, walked up 12 stairs and returned clutching the DVD. It was, naturally, still in its plastic.
But here’s the thing: with the news that Film Struck – a cinephile’s paradise, given it’s the most far-reaching library available to stream – is closing down at the end of November (it will be gone by the time you read this, though owner Warner Media is promising to still make use of the collection), and the horror tales of people losing movies they have bought on iTunes, suddenly my own years of collecting seem valid once more. Turns out I was right to buy Days Of Thunder and Far And Away – movies I don’t actually like – to complete my Tom Cruise Collection.
Swap Shop
Anyway, the long and short of it is that my wife and I have arrived at a compromise. Said compromise is this: one in, one out. Yep, I can buy 50 damn movies a month if I want to… as long as I make room for them by putting 50 others on eBay or taking them to the charity shop. Sure, it means my collection can’t continue to grow (at least until we can afford a bigger house…), but it can be upgraded, with crap curios I bought just to see them for the first time getting ousted and alltimers taking their place.
And besides, it’s not like we drew up a contract under the squint-eyed glare of lawyers. Last month I took Bad Boys II to the charity shop and replaced it with a boxset of 14 Frederick Wiseman documentaries totalling 45 hours of viewing. It was, in a way, a one-for-one swap, I argued, and Bad Boys II feels like it’s 45 hours long anyway. Right or wrong, one thing is certain: my collection feels that bit more complete.
Jamie will return next issue… For more misadventures, follow: @jamie_graham9 on Twitter.
‘TURNS OUT I WAS RIGHT TO BUY FAR AND AWAY TO COMPLETE MY TOM CRUISE COLLECTION’