Total Film

This month: Trees. MIA: Chris Pine, Leslie Ash, Colin Fir(th), David ’Arbor.

Arborous aces.

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THE WIZARD OF OZ

A walk through the woods is no picnic for Kansas girl Dorothy as she makes her way to the Emerald City. Peckish for a snack, she plucks an apple only to be slapped by the angry tree. “How would you like someone to pick something off you?” it admonishes. Has a point.

POLTERGEIS­T

Jesus. The stuff of every kid’s nightmare as the terrifying topiary outside of the bedroom window smashes wet, gnarled branches through the glass to snatch a boy out of bed and down its wooden gullet. Seriously, no (bedside) table manners.

GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

The cutest sapling of them all. Mono-phrase Groot is a flora colossus from Planet X and has the nifty ability to regenerate. Which comes in particular­ly handy when he gets blown to smithereen­s and grows back even cuter. Awwww.

A MONSTER CALLS

The Liam Neeson-voiced anthropomo­rphic yew is a monster in stature but all heart in teaching a boy struggling to deal with the imminent loss of his terminally ill mother how to grieve and live. No, you’ve got something in your eye...

AVATAR

The Tree of Souls on Pandora is a psychedeli­c portal to the Na’vi spirit world and their deity, Eywa. A glowing, sorta weeping willow, this twinkling, luminescen­t growth can heal wounds and provide communicat­ion with dead ancestors. A beaut.

PAN’S LABYRINTH

Given three tasks by a magical faun, a lonely girl in 1940s Spain walks deep into the wood to find an old, divided tree and crawls deep into its muddy underbelly to confront a giant, fantastica­l toad. Loaded with symbolism and gorgeous with it.

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS

The Whomping Willow in the grounds of Hogwarts is a bit of a grump, especially if students crash a car into it. Can be immobilise­d by pressing a knot at its base, but you have to get through the, erm, whomping.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX

The titular canny canid dreams of the perfect home for his wife and kids. So he upgrades from his humble digs at #1 Brambleon-the-Shrub to a majestic oak tree on a hill. Spacious, refined, views to die for… literally, when fox-killing farmers come calling. What the cuss!

SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON (1960)

The ultimate treehouse with running water, a tortoise-shell sink, and bamboo dining set. Then there’s the honeymoon suite high in the boughs… still not enough for Mrs. Robinson, who complains about the curtains her hubby’s made.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS

The oldest living thing to walk under the sun on Middle-earth is Treebeard, an Ent and shepherd of the Fangorn forest. His great wooden clodhopper­s are perfect for squishing Hobbit-bothering Uruk-hai… JC

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