★ STAR LETTER
In 2022, for the first time in my life, I began to dread going to the cinema. The standard of audience behaviour was anxiety-inducing; it seemed people couldn’t avoid checking their phones for more than 30 minutes. However, in the past few months I’ve been four or five times and have to say things seem to be improving. Maybe it was the quality of the films? Avatar: TWoW, The Fabelmans and even A Man Called Otto
had audiences attentive and wellbehaved. I’ve noticed an upturn in the variety of films on offer too. Is cinema making the comeback we all want? I sure hope so. I use streaming services, but nothing beats the cinema. I hope
TF continues to put films front and centre each month.
DOMINIC HOLDER, CARLTON
That’s a truly refreshing, nature-is-healing message, Dominic. Never underestimate the power of Spielberg, of Hanks, or of a 3D frond hypnotically tickling your nose. And yes, let’s say it’s down to audiences feeling connected to what’s projected, rather than their phones having suffered death by spilt slushie or something. More stories of good behaviour, please; we’ll order in some gold stars alongside the red ones. Dominic and everyone with a letter printed here will receive a copy of The Boys Season 3, available on DVD and Blu-ray on 6 March via Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. Didn’t send an address? Email it! Or you won’t have a Butcher’s!
POETRY SLAM
I’ve been inspired to write a short poem after watching Avatar: The Way of Water: Jake Sully had a wonderful life With his young children and his wife. The humans came back, Jake led an attack,
And I lost those three hours of my life. TOM, LEEDS
Very pithy. Not sure we can see Celine Dion warbling that one to the top of the charts, mind.
CAN’T ’TEC IT
I just had to write in regarding your 25 Best Detectives list (issue 333). You omit Miss Marple, but include Fletch! However, the bigger crime was leaving out Jeremy Brett from your number two entry, Sherlock Holmes. Come on, guys, he is to Sherlock what David Suchet is to Poirot. Love the mag, by the way. PAUL O’CONNOR, VIA EMAIL
I was gobsmacked reading through your best 25 detectives ‘of all time’. The best three aren’t even on your list: Tom Barnaby and his cousin John from Midsomer Murders, and Father Brown. BILLY SIMPSON, KILLINGWORTH
Everyone’s a critic… and almost as many are detectives, which sadly meant that some well-loved ones did end up as missing persons. Rest assured, Father Brown will be taken into serious consideration if we ever do a countdown of kick-ass comedy priests. Talking of lists, let us know what you think of our 25 greatest vampires (p50); fangs have already been bared in the TF office over Count Duckula’s inexplicable absence.
@madrecuervo [on the possibility of John Wick 5] ‘Oh yes please! I wish John Wick would run over James Bond like a bulldozer. But only with Keanu Reeves’
THE WAY OF WAR PLANES
I am sure many others have noticed how the two biggest-grossing movies of 2022, Top Gun: Maverick and Avatar: TWoW are curiously connected, but also vastly different. Tom Cruise and James Cameron both came to prominence in the 1980s and have persistently advocated the joys of theatrical releases. And although box-office returns are simply never an indicator of a film’s quality, it’s pleasing that the insistence on ‘the magic of cinema’ has reaped dividends. It’s also fun to see how radically different the films are. Using real planes, Top Gun: Maverick strives for visceral authenticity, while Avatar: TWoW stretches silicon chips to the limit, using those ‘ones and zeroes’ to create a photorealistic alien world. Would be great to see what Cameron and Cruise might produce if they ever worked together.
RICHARD SHERWOOD-FARNFIELD, MAIDSTONE
Good grief, can you imagine? Between Jim’s pixel power and Tom’s devotion to danger, the level of realism would have audiences darting to the back of the cinema like 19th-century punters fearful that witnessing the arrival of a train will be their final destination. Good job Beat Saber wasn’t around in those days; fleeing with one of those headsets on probably would leave you smooshed by a choo-choo.
LOUNGER ACT
With regard to the choice between cinema or home viewing, I totally feel Tom Ellis’ dilemma and pain [see Dialogue, issue 333]. If I may be so bold, I’d like to offer two bespoke solutions: home multiplex and home old-school picture house. Both involve watching movies on your home TV, with livingroom lights turned off. For home multiplex, you’ll need a reclining sun lounger (with adjustable armrest), a large bucket of popcorn, some nachos and a cola. The old-school picture house instead needs a picnic chair and your partner to provide an intermission by standing in front of the TV with a tray of choc ices and lollies. I also enjoy having them do a random, usher-like torch-lit sweep of the room at some point. Any other home-cinema-adjustment tips from readers would be gratefully received.
DAVEY W, CALVERLEY
Congrats on having a micro-empire of light in your home, though we’re not sure about building it on the back of one’s partner. Do they get to help themselves to any Magnums left unscoffed? Are they allowed to turf you out if you so much as nosewhistle, gaining sole access to the telly and all streaming passwords for the next six months?
CHRIS BRYAN [on The Flash trailer’s multiple Batmen] ‘Imagine if they did that for Spider-Man! ’