We are also supposed to have a cyclone kit already prepared, which means better rush out and prepare one BLOWS MY MIND
Preparing for a cyclone creates a similar rush to those frantic, last- minute Christmas Eve shopping sprees. You’ll have missed out on what you want, but you’ll come home with something else, like the portable gas cooktop I excitedly purchased pre- Yasi, before it was pointed out that the cooktop in my HOUSE is gas. How embarrassment.
If you’re only hearing of the wind warning now, don’t worry, I remember wandering into a supermarket pre- Larry, oblivious to the impending blow, only to be accosted by a man who screamed — no lie, screamed, “BATTERIES?!” at me as I leisurely did my weekend shop.
“Um, I don’t work here,” I answered, reaching for my favourite baked beans in tomato sauce, only to see there weren’t any.
Whaat? National bean shortage?
I then heard someone yell, “CANDLES!” which jolted me out of my, “is supermarket Musak getting better, or am I getting older?” conundrum, and noticed the queues to each register stretched down each food aisle and met up at the back.
Something wasn’t right here, had I wandered into a film set for a disaster movie?
I ended up aceing it as a reallife extra in an actual disaster; ‘ Look concerned’ — check. ‘ Get in a scuffle over the last pack of Jatz’ — check. ‘ Queue up for a bag of ice, even though you don’t have an Esky’ — check.
So with a few days warning of the impending blow I have downloaded the Government’s ‘ Surviving Cyclones: Preparation and Safety Procedures’ checklist so we can go through it together. Here goes.
We are supposed to have previously checked with the local council to see if our home has been built to cyclone standards, and got permission to trim treetops and branches. Ba- bum.
We are meant to have cleared our property of loose material.
We are also supposed to have a cyclone kit prepared, which means better rush out and prepare one. You’ll need: Portable battery radio, batteries to run it, water containers ( don’t forget to fill them), dried or canned food and a can opener ( you can’t beat smoked oysters and Jatz, no opener required.) Also matches, a ‘ fuel lamp’ ( whatever that is) a portable stove ( to enhance your gas cooktop,) plus cooking gear and eating utensils, which seems odd, as we already have these …
Of course if your kitchen blows away … be reassured your cutlery won’t fly off into the stratosphere but will probably do what my TV antenna and awnings did postYasi, which was to simply relocate to the backyard.
Not on the list but very important are candles and pet food, and to put insurance policies and other important documents like your mum’s pancake recipe in a ziplock bag.
Think like a schoolie, you’ll need a charged phone, a first aid kit and a list of emergency phone numbers, plus beer or wine, rumbo for you diehards, plenty of chocolate, and snacks.
Then it’s a waiting game, hopefully the aerial will last through Sunday’s MKR, let’s regroup next week, hopefully with our health, roofs and Jatz supplies intact.