Australia’s battle with the bottle a long one
uthor Matt Murphy looks at Australian history through beer goggles in this distillation of his new book Rum: A Distilled History of Colonial Australia.
Australia has always taken pride in its perceived drinking reputation, even though we don’t drink as much as we think we do. The 2015 WHO report on international alcohol consumption lists Australia as 9th with 12.6 litres per person per year. This is soundly beaten by many Eastern European countries though we do outdrink our adversaries such as the UK (25th), NZ (31st) and US (48th). More damaging to this reputation is that in terms of beer consumption we are a lowly 19th at 74 litres each Premier per year; Anna, barely after half your words to what the PM the on Czechs building put the away. quarantine However, stations, “It’s 200 a years no-brainer, ago we were get on quite with it” likely I suggest the world’s you listen No.1 to your drinkers. own words. In relation to juvenile crime In fact in this we didn’t city and just state. drink “It’s it. a noAlcohol, brainer, get particularly on with rum, it”. Lock infused them up every and they aspect can’t of colonial commit life. the Rum crimes was used and reoffend. to flavour LES, tobacco 4814 and to “buy” tickets The sheer to the arrogance theatre. of It our was Premier promised to by break governors another as promise a reward and for award capturing felons herself and a huge by felons pay rise as along a reward with for her capturing useless Labor governors. politicians Rum while was our even taken community on the buckles ill-fated under Burke an and ever Wills expedition increasing and to be more drunk violent by the crime explorers wave then day by pissed day. Don’t on to camels worry, she to harden has saved their us again hides. by securing a State of Origin game It is here perhaps while little rampaging surprise criminals that rum featured continue as to an wreck ingredient people’s in lives Australia’s and first burn cocktail more stolen called cars. “blow It is your just a skull game off” to them. by its Enough creator, Premier, the eternally you and drunk your Lieutenant useless cronies governor need to of give Van all Diemen’s of your Land, pay to Thomas the victims Davey. of your (For the record, it incompetence, was equal parts then rum, resign brandy in shame. and beer. TONY, Adaptations 4814 of it can still be seen in Leanne some Linard’s of the country’s letter in swankiest Saturday’s bars that Bulletin include really things shows like what Jägermeister, a deluded butterscotch world this minister schnapps lives or peach in. 75 per syrup). cent The of thirst the article for spirits she criticised also led to the a lot of Libs. bush Ms distilleries Linard, just making in case moonshine you’re from unaware, anything they they haven’t could. been in power
The symptoms of Lieutenant Johnston, the leader of the consuming such concoctions Rum Corps, bring so drunk that he fell ranged from stomach cramps through headfirst from his horse the previous to lunacy, blindness or just dropping day therefore needing to postpone a dead on Ron, the Nome. spot. Ostensibly Spot on about to waiting protect times meeting for a drink with or food Bligh at to the discuss new the the citizenry, stadium. the Was NSW quicker Corps, at the more old one. You impasse. gotta wonder When how Bligh they was got found that so by the commonly wrong. referred Bring back to as the the local Rum clubs running corps, the venue. it was There reported were that more corps officer Corps, volunteers confiscated to the serve rancid you unlike spirit the but few Spotless Minchin employees was so drunk as the that big he entered rather southern than destroying company it tries they to more gouge as much the money room from on all the fours night to as formally possible. make often just stirred it into their own rum the arrest. supply that they used as a carrot in The Eureka Stockade of 1854 was front of many an addled settler or also a one-sided battle – most of the convict who would sell all their rebels who were in the stockade that possessions or slave for long hours just fateful night had been drinking since for a taste. noon. It is even suggested the troops
The biggest roles rum were involved ferried in brandy to the rebels during in were possibly the three greatest the night to ensure that when they armed offensives, or turning points, of attacked the barricades at 2am they our colonial history. The 1803 Castle would face much opposition.
Hill rebellion, though some could Alcohol and politics has always had argue was very poorly organised, a somewhat symbiotic relationship in for nonetheless 6 years. Most came of asunder your letter due to the Australia. Our first prime minister, revolved pillaging of round rum by semantics, the rebelling saying Edmund Barton was such a notorious breach convicts of on bail their didn’t way exist. to storming Here’s a That’s drunk what that he happens was nicknamed when reprobate Toby thought, Parramatta. how Many about got you drunk show and how minded Tosspot. left It was wing said politicians at that time are in that to clever collapsed you while are and others introduce got lost. breach charge be a politician of the justice you, “needed system, an there ample is of bail As its as name an offence. suggests, Juvenile the 1808 crime Rum absolute appetite and lawlessness a good capacity and injustice for stats Rebellion for May also alone, had the in spirit Townsville, as its because alcohol”. the criminals are exempt from are centrepiece. evidence In recent fact the legislation whole rebellion punishment. Surely the The most politicians infamous who act of allow changes may have have been been averted an if absolute it weren’t for this drunkenness lawlessness in parliament to continue was have no
STEVO, HMT PRK, 4812 waste of parliament’s time and completely ineffective. GEC, 4814
sense of moral justice & no shame & committed they should by all John be sacked. Norton JM, in Heatley 1898 when Are there he dropped any other his residents trousers and in peed on Kirwan the Legislative paying $100 Assembly a week carpet. for home and In contents 1886 Adolphus insurance Taylor for was the ejected privilege from of living parliament in this on postcode? two occasions Similar properties for “obstructing in other the suburbs business of half the that. house” Help. when he pointed out how many BILL, KIRWAN of the attending members – he counted Townsville 35 like in one it or sitting not has – were a so drunk considerable they couldn’t homeless see population. a hole in a ladder. Right now Australian local farmers Governor-general are struggling Sir to get John seasonal Kerr, most workers, famous some for would his dismissal say you couldn’t of the Whitlam or shouldn’t government take in advantage 1975, had but two there’s stints in opportunity hospital for during some that his want tenure to in change an attempt the direction to dry out. their He life also is taking. embarrassed Hopefully himself those by giving assisting a very the homeless drunken speech see at the 1977 opportunities Melbourne and Cup. promote there is work While that the would Czechs benefit and all many parties, others just outdrink saying. us, it is the way we drink that has POIDA, been KIRWAN the problem. Binge drinking and Saturday’s alcohol Bully fuelled reported violence on are the comparatively sadness surrounding unknown the there. Board family. New What South a Wales’ very, very recently sad repealed place lockout we live in laws in which are a bizarre the government tale we hope to can never justify have spending to revisit. $8 million on a game of football yet this family is left to live off the generosity set up by a Gofundme page.
WILLIAM, KIRWAN