SCIENTISTS GOING POTTY OVER BOVINES
YOU always have to wonder what dimension the scientists inhabit, who, every once in a while, come out with research findings that show cows can be potty trained.
It’s in the news again. Scientists reckon you will be able to train Daisy and Strawberry to go to the dunny and flush afterwards.
There was no mention of Bob the Bull or
Benny the Bullock being toilet-trained.
Maybe it has something to do with them being in a state of denial when it comes to lifting the lid. Go, Bob, Go, Benny, I say.
You might have read it in the news: “Behavioural psychologists have discovered cows can be toilet-trained and were more time efficient in learning the skill than the average human toddler.”
German scientist Dr Jan Langbein said it was “usually assumed cattle are not capable of controlling defecation or urination”.
Those of us who have spent countless hours sitting behind mobs of bovines blissfully performing their ablutions as they moseyed along the track towards the distant stock yards, would assume that to be the case.
Obviously Dr Langbein and her fellow researchers think all of the world’s cattle are kept in barns or in tiny paddocks, a ’la the European model, but as we all know, this is not the case in Australia.
So, consider this a formal invite for Dr
Langbein to come to Australia and to try her potty training methods on the 15 million head or so of cattle running across millions of hectares in Queensland, the Northern Territory and the Kimberley.
She will have her work cut out.
And if she can teach the scrubbers to flush, we’ll shout her a ticket to next year’s grand final.