A simple name change might be the solution
What’s in a name? Plenty, as it turns out. I’ve spent a good part of the past couple of weeks attempting to prove my identity to an organisation that already knows me, due to me having deposited money from my pay there every fortnight for decades. It turns out having a maiden and married surname during those decades complicates things, and proof is required of both.
Which is why I now know that the marriage certificate you are handed on your wedding day, that you keep ‘somewhere safe’, is just a ceremonial prop.
Turns out that while couples pose for photos signing a fancy parchment certificate, whoever marries you registers an official document with the office of births, deaths and marriages, and if you want to access this official file you didn’t know existed, you’ll not only have to pay money, but you’ll also have to prove your identity, the exact thing you were trying to do for another government department in the first place.
Oh, and too bad if the form is stored in a cyber-cloud located interstate, and if you also have a query, I now know that being 180th in the phone queue equates to about four hours waiting time, long enough to ponder why we provide information to corporations without questioning how it’s stored, and what happens to it after it’s used.
Because as we now know, data that identifies us is very valuable. So valuable in fact, that hackers cannot only access it, but demand millions of dollars to ‘not’ reveal it to the world.
As a long-time Optus customer, I’ve been informed that my
information has been compromised, the cherry on top was discovering my old Medibank Private records might also be floating around, as well.
So good luck to anyone illegally accessing medical records that are still under my maiden name, while you’re in there, would you mind convincing my superannuation provider and My Gov that I’m me?
We have become aware of a negligent lack of forward planning regarding our national security that has failed to procure any kind of military equipment resembling a fleet or a squadron for this decade, let
alone the next.
Should we also assume that the ball was also dropped regarding battles fought on the information superhighway rather than terra firma? We can only hope the Optus and Medibank breaches provided big wakeup calls for essential, hackable utilities, like power, water, and banks.
And while unsubscribing from mailing lists might feel proactive in the quest to share less personal data, I finally posted off my pile of certified documents (shout out to the hardworking, helpful JPS in our shopping centres) that I’ve now realised would provide even the most incompetent cybercrook with enough information to apply for a licence, a Medicare card, a passport, lease or loan, in my name.
I have absolutely no clue what will happen to my unique, certified documents once the business asking for them has ascertained I’m who I say I am, but shouldn’t they have to either pledge to destroy or deidentify them, and let me know when they have?
I could call and ask, but those wait times were brutal; changing my name might simply be easier.