SID THE PSYCHIATRIST
WE CAN'T VOUCH FOR HIS QUALIFICATIONS BUT HIS ADVICE IS PRICELESS
I fear I have missed the single fin, twin, fish retro movement. I have just reinvested in a new quiver of thrusters, and so won’ t be getting on it anytime soon. I wasn’ t too worried, but I recently saw Filipe Toledo riding at winny, and that had me panic king. Spud McKenzie, Bulli
I understand that when the world’s premier high performance aerialist starts showing up with a twinny, you could start questioning your board choice. However, if you are locked into your choice for a while, why not embrace it? Think of Toledo’s efforts as a jump the shark moment, and soon (i.e. in about five years) the trusty thruster will have its retro moment in the sun. You’ll be so ahead of the curve, by then you’ll be glassing those three fins in and be some type of local oracle. Sit tight, your time will come.
For the last four years my boyfriend has gone to Indonesia every winter for three months surfing, but won’ t take me. Should I be worried? April,Redgate
I’ m finding it increasingly hard to gain my fat her-in-law’ s respect. He’ s a bit of a big wave legend around where we live, and as I’ ve just moved here and don’ t really like huge waves he’ s turned against me. Worse, I think my misses kind of agrees with him. Any ideas? D ion W ag horn, Wool am ai
Oh, I feel for you Dion. Busting in on any father daughter relationship is tricky enough, without adding big wave bravado and outdated localism to the mix. Dealing with your father-in-law is probably the easiest place to start. Ignore his attempts to pressure you into riding a 7’6” and concentrate on treating his daughter right. It is that behaviour that will win favour from any self-respecting father. Your missus is a different matter. You’ll need to step lightly around her relationship with her dad, the most formative in any girl’s life, but still request support. She married you, not her dad, even if that may be legal in certain Australian backwaters. Then, if all that fails, grab that 7’6” off the old man, paddle out and take off on the biggest, gnarliest wave you can find. You might drown, but if you don’t, those Sunday lunches might get a whole lot easier.
I’ ve just read the book Barbarian Days by William Finnegan. It’ s the best book about surfing ever written, but it has left me bereft with the feeling that I’ ll never have the freedom and balls to travel and surf like I did in my 20s ever again. Daz, Sunny Coast
I agree on that BarbarianDays is the best surf book ever written (and yes I’ve read Kelly Slater’s PipeDreams and Mick Fanning’s Surf
ForYourLife), and that it tells a tale of unsurpassed surfing wanderlust. However the simplest psychology is about thinking positive and then setting achievable goals. Use the book as inspiration, not as a lament. Now you don’t need to decamp to Honolua Bay and take acid, or live in a tent for four months in Micronesia, but instead add elements of new travel to your year, and more surfing to your lifestyle. The book, at its heart, is about putting surfing at the centre of your decision making process. Do that more, and like Will, you’ll reap the rewards.
I have a very strange penis. It is as thick as it is wide. I’ m very embarrassed and feel it is affecting my confidence with the girls I like. War horse, The Bluff
Warhorse, you are not alone. Every single penis is strange. They are all fucking ridiculous. And yours even has a name, it’s called a Choad. So that’s good news, right? Men tend to overplay the role of the donger, often to their detriment. Women are more in tune to more important issues like your emotional depth, communication skills and humour. Concentrate on those, and your Choad will be busy enough in no time.