Not The News.
Last Remaining Surfer Able to Read a Synoptic Chart Hangs Up the Leggie
The surfing world is in mourning today after the last remaining surfer able to decipher a weather map hung up the leggie for the last time. Wayne ‘Pelican’ Andrews had his last surf on Tuesday after spotting a cheeky low pressure system with reasonably low numbers and favourable looking isobars sneaking up the coast, while watching Tim Bailey present the weather on Ten’s News at Five. In anticipation of the swell, Pelican broke out his trusty seven footer and waxed it up that night, ready for the next morning. Unfortunately Wayne, who still happily lives without an internet connection, was unaware that the same swell had been forecast a week in advance online, to the entire east coast of Australia. After struggling through a crowded session at his once remote local, full of mediocre surfers on the latest Slater Surfboards model, Pelican stormed up the beach, wrapped his board around the shower pole, shed a single tear and exclaimed, “Fuck this, I’m done!”