MORLEY’S WORKSHOP

DEAD CAR LANDSCAPE, SUPER SUBY, CONSOLE CURSE AND DON’S DOLLIE SPRINT

Ilove getting out back of beyond these days. My three-decades-old LandCruiser is now a regular visitor to the mulga and in the last four years or so has been to every State and Territory apart from Tassie and the ACT. (Tassie is on the to-do list; the ACT, er, we’ll see.)

Now, dead cars were once a part of the regional landscape until scrap metal became about $200 a tonne a few years ago and the scrappies started touring country areas buying up old cars that, at the time, weren’t worth much (if anything) beyond their scrap value. I hate to think how many salvageable old dears were crushed and turned into fridges and microwaves as part of this process.

However, the cost of running a truck out to farms and country towns eventually reached the point of no-profit once the distance involved became too great. And the result of that is that the true, fair-dinkum, honest-to-goodness outback is still home to quite a few dead `uns.

My last trip took me into the East Pilbara of WA and, somewhere between the towns of Papunya and Kintore (google it) I found not just a dead Aussie car, but a vehicle that will have a lot of UC readers weeping into their kebabs as they read this.

I actually zoomed past the old girl at first, because even though the orange paint was a clue, the thing was so beaten to piss that it was only when I was almost past that I recognised the make and model. Yep, a VH Valiant Charger. Cue quick U-turn and much oohing and aahing from me and the mates I had along.

As you can see, of course, there’s not much left to salvage from this old girl, but the forensic scientist in me was still intrigued. Somebody, for instance, has used an angle-grinder to cut out and remove the little sections of the rear quarters where the Six Pack decal would have been. The black bonnet (what was left of it) was also an R/T

clue, but who knows if it was an original R/T or a mock-up. Then again, who cares: Any VH Charger is retro royalty these days.

The engine (on the ground next to the shell) was a two-barrel Hemi that had either been removed from the car or thrown out when it crashed. But maybe the thing was just dumped out there many years ago when old Valiants were worth nothing. The big hole in the side of the engine block suggests that may have been the case.

The VH wasn’t the only early Aussie wreck I found but it was the one that made the biggest impression on my crew. I’d love to know the car’s back-story and how it got to this remote part of the continent on the edge of the Gibson Desert. Anybody seen it themselves or know the story?

The other question is whether it’s worth rescuing. Well, it’d be a hell of a recovery thanks to the sheer distance, the crook roads and the $3.40-a-litre fuel out that way. Plus, as you can see from the photos, the old girl is well past any real chance of rehabilitation. Even out in the dry, dusty desert, rust will still eventually get a hold. And yes, the tags were both missing!