A CV8 IS A PRETTY WIDE MUTHA

Unique Cars - - GARAGE GURUS -

As Mrs M will tell you, I’m might y antsy about where I’ll park my favourite cars. A suc­ces­sion of tow-truck utes has been left any where from the air­port to the loca l su­per­mar­ket, but my Sun­day cars have never even seen a shop­ping trol­ley up close. None of which made a blind bit of dif­fer­ence when I had to park the Munro in an older, in­ner-cit y sub­urb the other day. You k now the sort of sub­urb: The ones where they have nar­row streets and old blue­stone kerbs and g ut­ters. You can prob­a­bly g uess what hap­pened next.

Yep, I kerbed t he god­dam front-left a lloy on a blue­stone block that was sit­ting about 20mm proud of its neigh­bour­ing blocks of rock. Oh sure, I was tr y ing to make sure I got as close as pos­si­ble – a V X CV8 is a prett y wide mutha – but had that mon­grel, rogue block not been stick ing out into t he road, I never would have touched a lloy on stone. Of course, t hat’s not much use to me now (and I’m will­ing to bet the coun­cil wouldn’t have cared less) `’cos now I had t hree pris­tine a lloys and one scarred one. And it fair dinkum looked like a zit on a su­per­model. Drove me cra z y.

The so­lu­tion turned out to be prett y sim­ple. I con­tacted a mob that comes to you and smooths and re­paints t he rim in your drive­way. Okay, t here’s a limit to what t hey can do wit hout putting a rea lly ham­mered rim on a lathe or weld­ing it up, but for the litt le tick le my wheel had copped, t hey were conf ident t hat t hey could f i x it in situ. The best part is t hat I sim­ply took a shot of the dam­age on my phone, sent it t hrough to head off ice and t hey got back wit hin an hour to say t hat yes, t hey could f i x it and even told me how much it was go­ing to cost. The bloke turned up, got stuck in and within 90 min­utes or so, Hulk Bo­gan was beau­tif ul again.

Which brings me to Rule 64 when in­spect­ing a sec­ond-hand car: Al­ways check the right-hand-side rims for kerb rash. A lot of snea k y bug­gers switch t he lef t-hand-side rims to t he right, f ig ur­ing you’ll be check ing for kerb-strike on t he lef ts, but not t he rights.

Aside from stick y-out y kerbs, t he ot her t hing t hat’s been get­ting up my nose lately has been a batch of fairly un­com­pli­men­tar y com­ments about one of the reader’s cars to be fea­tured in t his mag. Ty pica lly, t he com­ments have not been ex­pressed face to face but on so­cia l me­dia (where we pro­mote the up­com­ing sto­ries) and the ones I saw con­cerned the grey V N SS of Rob Groen­eveld. A cou­ple of ge­niuses were ex­press­ing t heir ex­pert op­tion on t he V N SS, es­sen­tia lly say ing t hat it wasn’t a car worth restor­ing and would a lways be a pile of crap no mat­ter how much time and money was t hrown at it. This de­spite t he fact t hat t hey’ve never seen t he car in t he f lesh. And for a ll I k now, have never driven a V N SS any way, let a lone owned one.

Now, I’ll ad­mit, t he V N SS isn’t ever ybody’s cup of tea. And if it aint yours, t hen feel free to move right a long… Noth­ing to see here. Of course, t hat lim­its your ex­po­sure to the va­riet y that makes our hobby such a grand one, but hey, what­ever. On the other hand, if you want to see how a restora­tion is done prop­erly, t hen check it out when it ap­pears, be­cause it’s a stun­ner. Here’s my r ule: If you wouldn’t say it to a bloke’s face at a car show or in t he front bar, don’t say it on­line. As Aret ha Frank lin once said: R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

BTW: Vale Aretha.

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