MATE, I HAD

Unique Cars - - MORLEY’S WORKSHOP -

a good chuckle at this one, but it’s kind of a se­ri­ous mat­ter for some peo­ple who re­ally are truly ter­ri­fied of any­thing with more legs than a daily-dou­ble. The part­ner of a mate of mine, many years ago, went to check her make-up in the van­ity mir­ror at about 60km/h one day (stupid enough in it­self) and when a big, hairy spi­der crawled across the mir­ror, she pan­icked, hit the picks and bailed out. Prob­lem was, she was still do­ing 10km/h or so when she flung the door open and per­formed her tuck-and-roll. The car, not afraid of the spi­der one bit, and re­lieved of the obli­ga­tion to obey a driver, con­tin­ued to do its thing. Un­til it tired of stay­ing on the play­ing sur­face, jumped a kerb and head-butted a tele­graph pole. The for­mer driver was a lit­tle scuffed and bruised. The car was bor­der­ing on a write-off. And the spi­der walked away with not a scratch.

But it ’s funny, isn’t it, how once you’ve seen a creepy crawly, sud­denly you’re itch­ing all over. Or you see one mozzie, and then all you can do is lie awake in the dark lis­ten­ing for the bas­tard to come back.

I‘m not sure whether, post-Ark, spi­ders re­ally do travel in pairs, but there’s one thing that does and it’s some­thing learner drivers should be taught (but I bet they aren’t). And that’s that fire en­gines of­ten travel in pairs. So, just be­cause you’ve moved over and given way to one, don’t im­me­di­ately as­sume that you can move back into your lane, ’cos there’s of­ten a sec­ond one right up the tailpipe of the first.

“THE CAR WAS NEARLY A WRITE OFF AND THE SPI­DER WALKED AWAY WITH­OUT A SCRATCH”

OP­PO­SITE PAGE Al­most any colour you want, in­clud­ing black.BE­LOW Smok­ing is a wealth hazard.

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