Kelly’s courage
Among the chaos running through her mind, Kelly Sheehan knows how lonely it can be on the dark side of living with mental illness – but she also knows it doesn’t need to be.
For the past 14 years, Kelly has learned to recognise triggers for anxiety and manage her lifestyle to reduce unnecessary pressures.
There are still times when she feels like a failure to her husband, her two sons, her family and to work.
But, beginning the conversation and normalising the conversation has helped her feel less lonely.
To those who follow “A Little Quiet, Please” on social media, it is an insight to Kelly’s daily struggles – her thoughts, her battles, her journey, but most of all her story.
“I want to talk about my attempts to find some quiet, in the chaos of my mind. To share not only my stories of success but also, my stories of failure - because those are where we learn.
Kelly doesn’t want to shy away from the conversations that she believes will help others.
“Because every time, without fail, that I write about my own personal struggles, people reach out to me.
When people do speak up, she says the common reaction from others is “I thought it was just me” or “I thought there was something wrong with me.”
“It’s not until you hear other stories that you realise you’re not alone. I was helped so much by listening to the stories of others.”
“A Little Quiet, Please” was developed in March after Kelly attended an International Women’s Day event. She was having a particularly bad day, one of many as she faced daily life.
VFF president Emma Germano delivered a powerful message at the event – “you find your purpose where your pain meets your passion.”
“I wasn’t in a good place at the time and Emma’s message helped me to think I should write about my story.
“What people think about me and what I write is not as big as the issue that I believe I have the ability to help people.
Kelly wants to take the stigma out of mental illness.
But, more than anything, she wants it to be treated like any other illness. We talk about cancer, or diabetes, or heart disease – but for many, mental illness in whatever form, is not talked about.
Kelly has Generalised Anxiety Disorder. She doesn’t think there was ever a point that she was officially diagnosed and to her, it doesn’t matter.
Speaking about it, sharing her story and helping others is what she wants to do.
In February, a series of panic attacks prompted Kelly to shut herself off from the world. She took time off work and time off everything – switched her phone off, stayed home and focussed on her.
“I switched off because I knew I needed to get better. I wanted to spend that time to come out of it feeling better and having better tools to deal with it.
Part of that time was writing notes that a month later formed the basis for A Little Quiet, Please.
Kelly’s anxiety appears without warning and she is overcome with thoughts of hopelessness.
“Why can’t I manage or cope with basic dayto-day things that the rest of the population can cope with.
“It’s a feeling of failing your family and failing my kids as a mother.
“I feel like I can’t do the things that other people look like they are doing easily.
When it strikes, she is nervous and on edge, emotional, easily angered and sometimes wants to withdraw into her own shell, talk to no-one.
Inside, she feels sick in the stomach and on the verge of tears but she also can appear to be full of confidence yet have no self-esteem.
So how does she manage? For 14 years she has been seeing a psychologist – some days it is still difficult to face the appointments, but she does it because she values its importance, and finding the right one.
Anti-depressant medication assists her and yoga, meditation and exercise combine for an holistic approach.
“Sometimes, I don’t do the things that I know keep me well. Sometimes, I do the things and I still don’t feel well.
“I’m learning that it’s an evolving process and I have to keep working hard, to feel well.
“I’m lucky to have many friends and family and a brilliant husband, who understand how I suffer and offer me the most terrific support.
“I talk openly about my anxiety because I don’t have anything to hide, because I want people to understand and I want people around me to see that it is so normal.
“We talk about mental health and suicide at home, probably more than most people would be comfortable with.
“But I want my boys and the whole world to treat it like any other illness,” she said.
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