Fresh start can be tough
Worried about the safety of her children, “Amy” put plans in place to flee the family home for a fresh start.
Months later, and unable to find housing for herself and two young children, she seriously considered returning. Put simply, she had lost hope.
Amy, not her real name, is a single mother, unemployed and with no rental history. Like many in her position, she had no financial control and everything was in her ex partner’s name.
“It’s been disheartening,” Amy said. “I was getting to the point where I was questioning whether to go back to my ex. I didn’t want my kids to be in the position we are. I just wanted stability for my children.”
Amy is one of the lucky ones. She had a family member in Warragul willing to take in her and the kids while she searched for housing. And, nearing her breaking point after more than three months searching, was able to find a two-bedroom rental in Moe.
On the day she moved in, Amy shared her story to highlight the lack of housing options for those fleeing family violence.
“You don’t have weeks to wait. A lot are more desperate than me, in more danger. They need to know where they can go straight away. There’s not enough information about places to help, and there needs to be.”
Amy tried to leave a few times. She finally left for good when her ex was away for the weekend.
She opted to stay with family rather than go to a crisis shelter. She believed the shelter would help her find housing, but she could have been sent anywhere in Victoria, and she wanted to be near family.
“I just basically started applying for different rentals. (But) they basically don’t look at you unless you earn three times what the weekly rent is. Single on Centrelink benefits. You don’t have much hope really.”
Seeking housing for $200 or less per week, she quickly moved her focus from the more expensive Warragul and Drouin areas down to the Latrobe Valley. However, she was unable to apply for a rental unless she looked at it in person, resulting in a lot of travel and added expense whilst juggling young kids.
“You can lose yourself in it (the process) very easily. Some are polite, some don’t give you the time of day.”
“I was rejected for so many and nobody told me why. Is it because I have two kids, single mum, can’t work? Okay, I can improve or fix that?”
The turning point was meeting a single mum vying for the same rental in Moe. The other mum got the rental but, when another became available, she put Amy’s name in the mix.
Looking back on her struggle, Amy recommended others in her position go through as many agencies as possible for help.
“The agencies need to be more open. They don’t tell you what services they can offer.”
Amy said she didn’t want to sound ungrateful for the help given but her agency either assisted family violence or crisis accommodation, not both despite the issues seemingly going hand-inhand.
As a result, she was left to find her own accommodation but will now receive assistance to furnish it.
For Amy, finding housing means she can take control of her new life. She can now start to look for jobs, enrol her children in care and education, and begin to rebuild.
But should it be so tough?
This article relates to family violence that may confront or disturb readers.
If you are in immediate danger contact police on 000.
For 24 hour counselling and support contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732; Safe Steps on 1800 015 188.
If you have experienced sexual assault, call the Gippsland Centre Against Sexual Assault 5134 3922 (business hours) or 1800 806 292 (outside business hours)
For assistance contact Gippsland Family Violence Alliance 5143 1600 or go to www.gippslandfamilyviolencealliance.com.au
If you are concerned about your behaviour, contact Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491.