THE GREY MI­GRA­TION

LIKE A FLOCK OF BIRDS, THE NOMADS MAKE THEIR SLOW WAY TO­WARDS THE SUN TO SUR­VIVE THE SOUTH­ERN WIN­TER

Warwick Daily News - - Weekend - ON A LIGHTER NOTE WORDS: GREG BRAY Greg Bray blogs at greg­bray­writer.word­press.com. Find him on Face­book: Greg Bray – Writer

Folks, what’s coated with a thin sheet of foil and full of rich good­ies in­side? That’s right, a car­a­van! And Easter time means the Great Grey No­mad Mi­gra­tion is about to set off from its south­ern hives seek­ing warmth above the Tropic of Capri­corn.

As the rest of us are spend­ing this week­end eat­ing our body­weight in choco­late, they’re pack­ing, putting their homes into hi­ber­na­tion and pos­si­bly giv­ing their non-mi­grat­ing neigh­bours some good-na­tured rib­bing.

“Do you want our heater? We won’t be need­ing it! How are you off for warm jack­ets, jumpers and elec­tric blan­kets ’cause we won’t be need­ing those ei­ther! Hooroo!”

Any­way, to­ward the Equa­tor the car­a­vans trun­dle, at 20km/h be­low the posted speed. Which is why frus­trated truck­ies have nick­named them ‘alu­minium speed­bumps’.

Now, they may be clog­ging the high­ways, but they’re a mo­bile gold­mine to many com­mu­ni­ties.

More than one lo­cal coun­cil has been top­pled for mess­ing with the Grey No­mad Mafia. Ban­ning dogs from parks, re­mov­ing a free camp­ing area or not keep­ing the toi­lets sparkling clean can be enough to get your vil­lage placed on the nomads’ no-go zone and even­tual eco­nomic ruin. Their sheer vol­ume means there’s lots of them spend­ing a lit­tle each but it all adds up to a very pretty penny in­deed.

Then, as the footy sea­son winds up, an un­heard sig­nal sounds and the swarm turns home­ward. Their wrinkly skins bronzed and their vans richly loaded with the 3 Ps: Pre­scrip­tions, Plonk and Pressies for the grand­kids. Un­til next year …

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