BRING BACK MAGIC
Most of us have probably been there or will be at some point: the need to spice up life between the sheets with your partner
THIS is probably not going to be much of a surprise for a lot of you. In my role, usually the biggest complaint I hear from people is that they are not having enough sex with their long-term partner.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the magic solution to this very real and quite normal problem.
The reality is most couples seem to come up against this challenge at some stage or another during their relationship. And the unfortunate reality is if one or both partners are not happy, it can often lead to a relationship breakdown.
So how do we stop that from happening but also keep the passion alive in our long-term relationship?
As I said, I don’t think there is a magic wand you can wave over each other to ease your troubles in this area.
But as always, I do have some simple, handy tips that are sure to help should you need to give them a try.
ENJOY SIMPLE INTIMACY Yep, that’s right – get back to basics.
When people have been in a relationship for a while, they seem to take each other for granted.
Believe me, I’ve seen it plenty. Be honest about it if you know what I’m talking about and it sounds like this is you.
Simple pleasures such as kissing and holding hands are often soon forgotten, and before long people feel they are more like best friends than lovers.
Taking things back to basics means taking time out to kiss your partner often (and I’m talking a long, slow passionate kiss, not just a peck on the lips), holding their hand while waiting in a queue to order a morning coffee, and organising a date night even when it seems easier to grab takeaway and head to bed.
As the saying goes, it takes two to tango, so both parties need to make the extra-special effort if the sex and desire are going to one day return to your lives.
SEEK COUPLES THERAPY This is the best thing you can do for your relationship if you want to stay together.
Many couples see a therapist together for a variety of reasons, but when the sex is lacking, therapy is a great solution.
Find a couples therapist that you are both comfortable with and stick to it for a couple of months at least.
Relationships are hard work. Therapy can assist you in sorting out your differences. It also creates a space where both parties can safely communicate how they feel about the challenges they are facing.
Juliet Allen is a Burleigh-based sexologist. For more information, visit her site at julietallen.com