AVOID THESE FAILS
Three key areas where relationships tend to fall over – and what you can do to get things back on track with your loved one
UNLESS incredibly blessed beyond belief, the chances are we are all going to be challenged by intimate long-term relationships at some stage in our life.
The important thing is to identify what mistakes we are making, and resolve them as quick as possible.
In my experience and from a lot of the people I talk to, there tend to three common relationship mistakes.
Here is what I hope you find useful advice on how to solve them.
WORK/LIFE BALANCE Relationships require continual love and nurturing.
Never assume that your relationship is “safe” just because you’ve been committed to each other for years.
It’s common for long-term relationships to become stale and boring because people stop having fun together and get stuck in the work and family routine.
What’s the solution? Schedule in couples time, family time, holidays together, a regular date night … time together to sit and do nothing.
Yes, life gets busy, but making time for your partner and family needs to be your No.1 priority.
DWINDLING SEX LIFE Great sex needs time, energy and education.
Couples often assume that sex should come easy, but the reality is that life gets hectic and family and work commitments take over.
They get bored and seek sex outside of the relationship.
To avoid this happening in your relationship, it’s important that you both talk about what you need, want and desire.
Talk about what turns you on, what you like, what you fantasise about.
Don’t be afraid to be honest with your partner … being honest means that you are being true to yourself (and who knows, you may just get what you want and be more satisfied than if you had said nothing).
CRITICISM AND BLAMING Criticising and blaming your partner on an ongoing basis is toxic.
I know it’s challenging, but try to look for the good in their actions.
Reality is, they are human, and they won’t always get everything right … plus they’re likely to be stuck in their own feelings of fear, doubt and limiting self-belief.
The truth is criticism and blame is always a projection of unresolved issues within yourself.
For example, your fear of failure may mean that if your partner is “not getting it right” then they may fail and by association you fail.
Take a long look at yourself and give your partner – and yourself – a break from the criticism and blame.
Juliet Allen is a Burleigh-based sexologist. For more information, visit her site at julietallen.com