THE RIGHT TIME
There are plenty of questions worth asking yourself before you dive into bed with a new partner for the first time
THE question – and it’s a big one: when is the right time to enjoy sex for the first time? When it comes to first-time sex, I’m personally a big believer in doing what feels right for me in the moment.
That said, I’ve often thought about what sexual choice I’m going to make well before I’m actually having to make the ‘‘yes/no, let’s do it’’ call.
Today I was chatting with a male friend about his beliefs on sex and when I asked him when he thought the time was ‘‘right’’, he said that now that he’s in his 30s he definitely waits longer if he sees it turning into a potential relationship (as opposed to jumping in at any chance possible in his early 20s).
The point I want to make today is that there is no ‘‘right’’ time and that we need to respect ourselves and others when it comes to our sexual choices. But what if listening to our gut isn’t quite working?
What if you feel confused about when you should first sleep with your new potential lover? Here are three things to think about before jumping into bed with someone new:
MUTUAL RESPECT? Ask yourself this – is there mutual respect between you and your potential new partner?
Self-respect takes you a long way because let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than waking up next to an idiot.
My number one rule when single was to ask myself ‘‘Does this person respect who I am as a woman?’’ and ‘‘How will I feel waking up next to them in the morning?’’
WHY, WHY, WHY? And also ask yourself this – why am I thinking of having sex with this person?
Perhaps you want some fun back in your life, and sex is where it’s at for you?
Or maybe it’s a deeper longing for connection and love with someone that you’re seeking?
Get clear on what you want and be clear with your new partner about your expectations.
ARE YOU PREPARED? Another question – how can I best prepare for safe sex?
If you know you’re going to have sex, be prepared.
There’s nothing sexier than someone who takes control of their own personal health – don’t wait around for the other person to bring the condoms.
I’m talking specifically to you ladies! Women often assume that it’s the men that should supply the condoms, but if you sit about waiting for the men you may find yourself in a sticky situation and believe me, STIs and HIV are prevalent and not fun.