Love and grief for Daddy
Ellie-May lives with heartache
ELLIE-MAY Barry still saves a seat on the lounge for her daddy.
It has been almost two-anda-half years since her father, Kane Barry, died after he was allegedly beaten outside his Southport unit.
Now eight, Ellie-May is still struggling to adjust to life without dad and continually asks why he is no longer with her.
“I always been wondering why my life is so difficult,” the Highland Park youngster wrote recently.
“It’s been difficult ever since my loved daddy died. It was so weird. He died so early, at least I even got a dad, I really miss him.”
Ellie-May’s mother, Danielle Roberts, said it was hard for such a little girl to process death – and it had changed her.
“Her smile is gone,” said Miss Robberts while looking at photos of Ellie-Mayy and Kane together.
“She still smiles, s, but it’s like it’s forced. d. She’s definitely notot the same kid she was. s.
“She was only six x when (Kane died) d) and she went to see e him every day he e was in a coma. She e thought he wasas going to wake up, it still breaks my y heart.”
Reminders of Kane touch every y corner of the familyy duplex. In the living area stands a “memory’’ cupboard with everything from his ashes to his favourite cap.
“It gives Ellie a special place, to remember her dad and be with him,” Miss Roberts said.
The 28-year-old mum-oftwo said dealing with a grieving child brought a whole new dimension to parenting.
“I need to keep reminding myself to take into consideration what she needs and how she is feeling. It can’t be easy for someone so young.”
Mr Barry died after allegedly being attacked by his neighbour on September 16, 2014.
He was on life support for four days before his family made the heartbreaking decision to turn off the machine.
“I didn’t know how to tell her and wanted to sugarcoat it in some way, but the nurses told me I had to be honest, so that is what I did and what I continue to do,” Miss Roberts said.
“It is very hard for her to understand. She lashes out at times and can say some pretty harsh things, but it’s all part of her coping.
“I can’t even imagine what goes on in her little head – the healing will be a long process.
“She has nightmares, she has so many questions ... she just wants to know why, but I don’t know if any of us will ever know why.”
Miss Roberts said Ellie-May had completed a grief program through Paradise Kids and would undergo counselling as she got older.
“It’s up to me now to make sure she is OK, that she doesn’t let this consume her,” she said.