DADDY ON THE DOUBLE
For little Lachlan, Father’s Day will always be twice as special. That’s beacuse the three-month-old has two dads.
MEET the Gold Coast woman who has handed a gay couple from Gympie the greatest Father’s Day gift imaginable – a beautiful baby boy.
Jane Miller, a single 40year-old with no children of her own, gave birth to little Lachlan at Gold Coast Private Hospital in May after putting up her hand to be a surrogate for two farmers she had never met prior to hearing of their dreams of parenthood from a mutual friend.
Rob Brunker, 50, and Jesse Zischke, 45, are now happily adjusting to life as a family of three on their cattle property north of Gympie.
“You can’t imagine the gift she has given us,” Rob says of Jane, who has formed a unique bond with the men. “There aren’t many people in the world who are that giving, nurturing and caring.”
“And want nothing in return,” Jesse adds. “It’s amazing.”
Incredibly, this is not the first time Jane has helped a couple bring a child into the world. As an egg donor since her mid-30s, she has seen seven children born into five families – with another two on the way.
Now, having reached an age where egg donation is no longer an option, she decided to embrace surrogacy.
“I wanted to keep helping families because it’s the most amazing feeling,” said Jane, who lives at Pacific Pines and is studying a Bachelor of Science.
Jane provided an insight into Lachlan’s very modern family, relived the moment she had to say goodbye to him for the first time and revealed how his birth has changed her take on having a baby of her own.
“I’ve realised I have a whole lot of love I could give a child.”
THE GIFT The first time Jane heard of egg donation was reading a message from a desperate couple on a shopping centre noticeboard. “What a gift,” she thought and reached out to them.
While that donation was unsuccessful, she has since given the gift of life multiple times and has varying relationships with the couples she’s helped. One remains anonymous. Others are friendly. A gay couple in Brisbane have become close friends. Then there’s Rob and Jesse. “We’ve got photos blown up in Lachlan’s bedroom of all of us together,” Jesse says.
“We had a baby shower for all of our family and friends and Jane was there along with our egg donor … Lachlan will always know how he came into the world.”
THE JOURNEY Rob and Jesse, who had their own room next to Jane at Gold Coast Private Hospital, are still moved by the memory of watching a woman they didn’t know two years earlier bring their son into the world.
“You’re gobsmacked,” Jesse says. “You can’t believe this woman is doing this for you. You feel so overwhelmed at her capability to have the love to do that for another person.”
For the first couple of days of Lachlan’s life, Jane was on a high. Then reality bit.
“I thought I was well prepared to say goodbye, but I struggled a lot,” she recalls.
“I realised I would miss him. I’d been carrying him for nine months and it was hard … but the maternity team was so compassionate and understanding. They offered for me to stay a few extra nights and got a social worker and fellow surrogate to support me.”
Rob says: “Driving away we could just imagine what Jane was going through … the last thing we would ever want to do in the world is hurt her.”
Jesse adds: “It was hard but it also wasn’t the end of the journey. This is the start of the next chapter and Jane is part of our story now. She will always be part of our lives.”
THE FUTURE Three months on Jane is in a good place. She’s forever receiving photos and videos of Lachlan. She’s had day trips to the farm. Plans are afoot for longer visits.
“I don’t know how I would’ve coped if it was like ‘see ya, bye’,” she says. “Now I look back and I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve done.” And, what of the future? “The funny thing is since giving birth to Lachlan I’ve sort of changed my thoughts on (motherhood),” Jane says. “It’s hard to explain but I didn’t really feel I had that love to give a child before.
“I probably would like to have a child but it’s a bit harder now due to my age. I don’t know. We’ll see. There are options but I’m getting on a bit (laughs).”