LETTING GO A TENSE TIME FOR PARENTS
But the confidence, development and sense of achievement you’ll see in return is ample reward
WHY did the children cross the road?
Because they didn’t have helicopter parents.
It’s no joke. Although given I once literally broke my children from head to toe within six months (a fractured foot for one thanks to an iPad and a fractured skull for the other thanks to a dodgy slippery dip), it’s not often that I’m accused of being overly vigilant.
But I’m a mum. Sometimes even a good one. So it’s my job to worry.
When they’re out of sight and earshot, I spend the first 30 seconds savouring the peace and scrambling for my shreds of sanity… and then the adrenaline kicks in. Where are they? Why is it so quiet? Can I smell something burning?
Yes, the kids are my reason to drink … but they’re also my reason to live.
Which is the reason why it’s my job to encourage my baby birds to fly … which means leaving the nest – even if only 500m away for 15 minutes.
There are the major milestones for every child: first tooth, first step, first day of school … and the first time you let them go out alone.
Last week, I decided my children were ready. Equipped with only my phone and each other, I allowed them to walk the two residential streets away to the local playground.
Yes, I worried the whole time. Yes, they FaceTimed me for about 13 of the 15 minutes they were away. But you should have seen their little faces when they got home. They were so proud. And my big face was the picture of relief.
Yet when my husband came home and we told him of their big adventure, his face was not a happy one.
He felt that aged almost nine and 11, they weren’t old enough to spread their wings.
He’s worried there are too many vultures and predators waiting to prey on their innocence. Not to mention big bad cars.
But how old is old enough? After all, at their age I’d been on the streets for years.
I get it: the world has changed, our awareness has changed, things are not the same as when I was a kid in the 80s.
Back then we knew of children who went missing because we saw their faces on the back of milk cartons.
But parents weren’t exposed to the endless fear factor on both social and traditional media – paedophiles, bullies and accidents, oh my!
Most of the safety routines we practise these days are based on evidence. We may have survived a childhood without seatbelts and bike helmets, but many did not.
But when I think back to my own childhood habits – waking before my parents, jumping on my bike and pedalling down to the park … alone and all from the age of seven – I can’t think of how anything has really changed. Not in our neighbourhood at least.
We’re in a quiet residential area and we know everyone on our street, as well as many families on the other street they travel down. The park is in view of dozens of houses
and there are no public toilets, meaning less risk of needle litter and nowhere to hide for predators. It’s sad we have to think that way but that’s the sour side of awareness. The sweet side being safety.
There are few cars and the one road they have to cross is far quieter than the one I used to traverse in the middle of Dallas, Texas.
I’m sure I could find plenty of reasons to keep them inside until their 21st birthdays, but how will they ever learn to be responsible without being given some responsibility? How will they ever learn to protect themselves if I’m there doing it for them?
So I’ve convinced my husband to go with me on this one … and to let them go.
The children have so far proven they take this privilege seriously. The extra benefit is that it’s become an activity far more exciting than an iPad.
And to be honest, I’d much rather let my kids cross the road than play Crossy Road.