REALLY, POINTING THE FINGER DOES US NOT ONE BIT OF CREDIT
CHINA will soon introduce a system that rates every citizen by what they do and who they talk to. It’s called “social credit” and will be overseen by 200 million CCTV cameras that will spot anyone who buys too much alcohol or smokes in the wrong place.
It gets worse. Social credit can also tell when you look up the wrong websites or bet too much. That’s right – under this points system, some of us would be stuck on zero.
If it sounds scary, and lifted out of 1984, it’s best to keep in mind that Australia introduced a social credit system – minus the whizzbang technology and totalitarian regime – some time ago.
Australia is brilliant when it comes to self-censorship. Points are added or subtracted according to the most offended. Rest assured, as the checklist below shows, they are keeping tabs. CALL OUT A RACIST: Like the Communists of the 1950s, racists lurk under the bed, whether they masquerade as Herald Sun cartoonists or country bumpkins. Three Tasmanian footballers painted their faces black this week ... aiming for a laugh. If you smirked however briefly at these fools, you too must be a bigot, which means extra points for those who label you a racist. +10 points CALL OUT THE NATIONAL
ANTHEM AS RACIST: Many Australians have issues with Advance Australia Fair; flat lyrics, elevator tune. Now, on the back of a nine-year-old’s protest, it’s clear the words are also racist because they make no explicit reference to tens of thousands of years of Aboriginal life. Others have noted the anthem will grate until it recognises the few dozen versions of gender now on offer. +20 points THE DOB IN A … INDUSTRY:
Tax cheats, litterers, hoons and drug dealers are among those who can be reported anonymously and without care for the consequences. Call it Petty Power. +10 points BOYCOTT A COMPANY:
When Coles kept providing plastic bags, some customers boycotted the supermarket giant, though no customers boycotted Coles’ all-plastic mini-collectibles. When Coopers beer offered a conservative voice in attempting to keep the samesex marriage debate “light”, it lost beer sales, at which point the company’s long association with 170-odd causes including disabled and autism advocacy groups didn’t seem to matter. That’s the nice thing about single-issue virtue-signalling: obvious hypocrisies can be ignored. +10 points EXPRESS MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT ANZAC DAY: Unmoved by fractured families, lives lost, noble men broken of body and mind who have one day a year to share in each other’s camaraderie? Try rewriting history and describing the Gallipoli landing as an unjust “invasion”. Throw in the First Fleet for bonus points. +10 points HAVE A DRINK ON
AUSTRALIA DAY: Bet on the horses, sit on the couch and eat too many sausages and too much pavlova. Perhaps rail against the Australian of the Year choice. Enjoy a vague feeling of thanks, unclouded by guilt or shame, for the harmony and opportunities we all enjoy in Australia. -100 points