WHY I WON’T BE PUTTING A CEILING ON MY FLAWS

“THIS year, my resolution is to work on myself.”

That was the sentiment that was sold to us by earnest acquaintances at barbecues about three weeks ago and endlessly spewed into the social media ether.

Yes, apparently 2020 is the year we all need to self-help, self-optimise and self-improve. We are feverishly writing lists, plotting goals and vowing to change our awful ways.

Well, a little more than halfway through the year’s first month, I have decided to raise a defiant middle finger to improving myself.

In any way.

So why has my intolerance for our culture’s obsession with becoming a new and improved “Me 2.0” so quickly developed into an allergy?

I am not averse to genuinely (and gradually) pledging to ameliorate your situation of your own volition.

My opposition lies in the fact that self-improvement has become a costly and pernicious marketing trap, a trojan horse that enters our lives under the guise of good intentions and cruelly shames us when we, inevitably, fall short of perfection.

We are fed the lie that life will somehow be infinitely better if only we a) read a book on decluttering, b) pay for an online personal branding course or c) ingest an unverified supplement that promises to make us less of an unhealthy loser.

We throw our hard-earned coin at these so-called solutions that leave us exactly where we left off. Just that little bit poorer.

The self-improvement movement has become so insidious. The industry will be worth a staggering $19 billion by 2022 in the United States alone. Self-help books with shouty, panic-inducing titles like Girl, Wash Your Face, Make Your Bed and Unf--k Yourself make up a burgeoning global market that Nielsen Book Research says has seen an uptick of 20 per cent. And you can barely make it one thumb scroll on Instagram before being accosted by an 18-year-old life coach wanting to prevent you from further dropkickery.

But does all this self-help actually help? Not necessarily.

Addie Wootten, CEO of Smiling Mind and a clinical psychologist, tells me that while goals are certainly helpful, relentlessly aiming to change ourselves can leave us feeling deflated at best and like total failures at worst.

“The truth is a ‘new you’ is impossible – us humans are incredibly complex and the more we fight with who we are, the more complicated, disconnected and unhappy we become,” Dr Wootten says.

“This year, instead of trying to change or fix yourself, why not consider getting to know yourself better, appreciating, or even loving yourself and learning how to just be you?”

Excellent plan. You have my solemn promise I will continue to irritatingly press snooze again and again every morning, to the detriment of myself and my partner’s sleep. I will hold my head high when I prioritise hair appointments over dentist visits and I will continue to buy treats for my daughter and then selfishly consume them myself.

New year, same you. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?