Anything but an ordinary life for Toby

The marketing and political strategist travels the world but loves his time here near ‘the spiritual home of boganism’

TOBY Ralph is anything but ordinary.

Which is fortunate, given his prediction that “average’’ is as endangered as Tom Tate at a Gecko rally. Described as one of the most powerful spinners and advisers in Australia, the 66year-old was not only the strategist behind all of former prime minister John Howard’s successful campaigns, he has also topped The Power Index’s list of (relatively) unknown people running Australia, as well as making the BRW Power List of the 50 most influential people in business. While Toby might argue that average is on the verge of extinction, he certainly does not mean to position himself on the winning side … he just happens to be a little unusual. After all, he doesn’t really have a job title, a proper office, or even a full-time address.

The bulk of his year is spent travelling the world, flying from A (Afghanistan) to Z (Zimbabwe) as he advises on 50-plus international political campaigns. The four months of the year he is “at home” are split between Melbourne and here on the Gold Coast, where he prefers to stay perched in his Q1 unit.

Even the story behind how he bought his piece of Surfers Paradise is anything but ordinary.

“My wife and I were here on holiday about 15 years ago and she wanted to go to the top of the Q1 to see the view and have a coffee,” says Toby, a regular guest on ABC’s Gruen series, The Project, Weekend Sunrise and Q&A.

“There was a big line-up and I saw it cost $20 or something outrageous to take the lift and I said ‘stuff that, I’ve got an idea’.

“I popped into the sales office and asked to have a tour of available properties. By the time we bought our coffees, we’d also bought a unit. We didn’t have to pay for the lift ticket though.

“Meanwhile, the value of the unit has gone down something like 15 per cent since then but oh well, I love it there.”

Obviously the Gold Coast is anything but average as well.

In fact, Toby made headlines in his adopted town a few years ago after supporting the idea of open-air urinals in Surfers, saying the city’s “trashy” image should be celebrated.

“Surfers is Surfers and occupies a unique spot at the apogee of tackiness. Let’s not forget it’s a title other towns covet – it brings visitors and revenue galore,” he said in 2017.

“Orchid Ave is the spiritual home of boganism in Australia – a sacred site. Fifteen-year-old boys dream of puking in those gutters while their girlfriends dress like three-bob hookers and keep a place in the queue for the club. It’s their idea of sophistication.

“Sure, it’s trashy, but it’s valuable and a bit of fun too. If we try to disguise it or tone it down we could lose our unique edge, so let’s celebrate it instead.”

Fast-forward to 2020 and those comments are still completely on-brand for this marketing whiz.

The city might not score points for sophistication, but Toby insists glorifying our glitz, glamour and even the gutter is far better than being in the middle.

He says the “evaporation of average’’ is trending around the world in almost every sector.

And it’s not hard to see his point.

While Porsche posts its strongest sales ever and the bicycle industry booms, poor old Holden has crashed.

While Westfield is winning with high-end brands and Kmart continues market domination, Myer shows signs of being all but in its death throes.

And it applies to politics as well. US President Donald Trump dominates on the right and Bernie Sanders on the left, with a chasm yawning in the moderate middle.

“We’re going the same way here,” Toby says.

“People are being drawn to nutty One Nation or the Greens, and support for both the Labor and Liberal parties is waning.

“In every segment of society we’re seeing people tending toward the extremes and no one left in the middle.

“A lot of it has to do with the rise of social media. We’re all shouting into an echo chamber and all we are hearing are our own views yelled back ever louder and more outrageous.

“The ‘silent majority’ just doesn’t exist anymore. Everyone has moved to the fringes.”

The fringe is a comfortable place for Toby, who has been described by various PR veterans as a “mercenary”, a “bounty hunter” and “to the right of Genghis Khan”.

He has fended off death threats after writing a satirical column suggesting a “modest cull of the enormously poor”, and has even been the subject of his very own Wikileak.

And while it’s true this gun has been hired by tobacco companies, the nuclear waste industry, the live export trade and Adani alike, Toby says his own personal beliefs have nothing to do with his business.

“I do what I do for three reasons. One, it’s the world’s easiest work – there aren’t exactly thousands beating down the door to work for tobacco companies. Two, it pays well. And three, it upsets people,” he says.

“I mean, yes, there is the argument that every murderer deserves a good barrister, but I quite like doing the unexpected. I love to see the reaction of people at cocktail functions.

“But I’m certainly not fuelled by any political or ideological beliefs. I’m just slinging hamburgers.

“I would work for the other side just as happily but, especially in Australian politics, once you’ve worked for one the other will not touch you.”

But just quietly, Toby admits he does have a line he will not cross.

“I do work for tobacco companies, but I don’t work on anything that actively promotes smoking. It’s about fighting against taxes and policies.”

In fact, Toby has even been behind a few campaigns that could only be described as liberal … with a little ‘L’.

Although he clearly delights in his bad boy image, he has been a special external adviser to the United Nations and has controlled or had input toward $1 billion of communications campaigns, many of which have been internationally focused.

He has brought – or attempted to bring – democracy into the darkest corners of the globe and even fought on behalf of some of the most marginalised segments of society.

His efforts in helping the UN to assist Afghanistan in its 2009 presidential elections are documented in his book Ballots, Bullets and Kabulshit, which he brought along to the interview in a Carrara cafe with the disparaging disclaimer: “No one’s read it so you may as well not read it, too”.

“I’ve worked on some projects which certainly would be categorised as ‘good’, but it’s extremely debatable just how much good was done,” he says.

“The more you work with these agencies, the more you realise just how slow change is. A huge number of NGOs are there simply to make a noise, not make a difference.

“You go in there thinking you’re going to change the world, but you change maybe one addendum to one rule in one city in one country in one continent.

“It’s like the slow-drip process, maybe over 30 years you will effect change, but it’s

‘I love to see the reaction of people at cocktail functions’

‘Our whole family, there were seven kids, moved to Australia’

anything but overnight.”

Toby cites his recent work in Zimbabwe as a case in point.

After three decades under the rule of virulently antiLGBT authoritarian Robert Mugabe, Toby was called on to help change the country’s international image.

“If we could slowly change the conversation around homosexuality and LGBT rights, that would really prove to the world that the country has changed – and that would bring in more investment dollars. The problem is that the country hasn’t changed yet,” he says.

“We shot some incredibly heartbreaking stories from Zimbabwe citizens who are gay. They have been ostracised, marginalised and criminalised. Whole villages will shun them, no one will talk to them. They’re killed or they kill themselves.

“Unfortunately, we realised after we filmed these stories that the country isn’t ready for a direct conversation about gay rights just yet. Instead we had to add more stories and rephrase the campaign as one of ‘tolerance’. We added some spots about albinism – if you’re an albino there you can be hunted and killed and used for witchcraft.

“At least I’m pissing off the right people over there, and I do love that work. But the realist in me knows that life for the LGBT community, or albinos for that matter, isn’t going to change for years yet.”

Perhaps it is no surprise that being on the outer of social acceptability is a place of inner peace for Toby.

He grew up clinging to the lower rungs of Britain’s strict class system and managed to get “booted” out of school for writing a threatening note to his form teacher.

“I cut the letters out of newspaper and everything,” he says.

“I was always a bit different. I grew up in Chelsea but that’s only because we had rent protection. After that we moved to the horrible town of Staines.

“When I was 19 our whole family, there are seven of us kids, moved out to Australia, just outside Adelaide. The irony was that in England I couldn’t afford to do anything, and over here I could afford it but there was nothing to do.

“Still, I truly believe that I never would have had the success that I’ve had back in the UK. Just the class system alone would have stopped me.”

Toby says while he first worked in advertising, he was later hand-picked to work on John Howard’s successful federal election campaign.

Dozens of international campaigns later, Toby says the ultimate political winner is chosen long before election day.

“I started out with five fantastic election campaigns. We won them all and I thought, ‘I’m a genius’.

“Then I lost a bunch. Now I’d say my track record is about 50-50. The truth is there is no genius campaign that changes everyone’s mind. It’s already decided before the election is even called.”

Toby admits he has been wrong before in his political predictions, but he is not shy to cast a few more.

“I thought Shorten would win the last election, so what do I know?” he laughs.

“Still, Trump will win reelection this November, and at this stage I think ScoMo will win the next election as well.

“What is really interesting right now in Australia is the move towards religion. That’s the thing that has me baffled.

“ScoMo’s a happy clapper and he’s got quite the army behind that. You expect that in America, but it’s a new phenomenon in Australia. Again, we’re moving away from the middle.”

Indeed, as I flip through Toby’s “unread” book, I notice the paragraphs that precede its bitter conclusion:

“Moderates are losing the public relations battle. … While most followers of religion are, in my opinion, deluded, extremists of all persuasions are worse – much worse. When faith takes over reason, commonsense can’t win the debate.”

And that, according to this uncommon Gold Coaster, is an unfortunate consequence in the evaporation of average.