SONG AND DANCE OVER ENDING VIOLENCE,
HIGH-profile family lawyer Caralee Fontenele says not even two left feet would have stopped her from leaping at the chance to dance solo in front of 700 people to raise money for domestic violence victims.
A revolutionary divorce lawyer with lived experience, the director of leading southeast Queensland law practice Collective Family Law is one of 10 brave business leaders from across the state taking part in Dancing CEOs on May 15.
Dancing CEOs supports Women’s Legal Service Queensland, which provides free legal and welfare help to women and their children at risk of domestic violence. Despite providing more than 30,000 services to women across the state, one in three calls cannot be answered due to resource limitations and, sadly, it’s not known if these women will have the courage or the opportunity to call again.
Caralee, who has offices in Brisbane and the Gold Coast, says her decision to swap the boardroom for the dance floor was a “no-brainer” because she was all too aware of the rise in domestic violence incidents in recent years, particularly during COVID-19 lockdowns.
Last year, Dancing CEOs was cancelled because of the pandemic and Caralee says this was a double whammy for Women’s Legal Service, because it not only missed out on about $450,000 but had to deal with a record increase in the number of domestic violence cases.
“This huge campaign gives them a decent injection of some much-needed cash so they can perform the services they do to keep women and children throughout the state safe,” Caralee says.
“I have a huge understanding in regards to how financial considerations stop a lot of people from leaving domestic violence situations. Often it’s easier to stay because of the uncertainty of leaving.
“Domestic violence isn’t always just emotional and physical, it can also be financial abuse. I’ve seen families with lots of money in assets but women are not given any access to it. It’s our job as family lawyers to help them with this.”
But Caralee says the biggest hurdle is encouraging women in domestic violence situations to ask for help, because she can see a way out for them when they can’t see it for themselves.
Having first-hand knowledge of divorce also gives the 42-year-old mother of three an insight into some of what her clients might be going through. In 2003, she moved from New Zealand with two small children and two years later, at just 27, she went through a divorce.
“It was so financially disempowering and afterwards I felt it was so unfair because, despite supporting someone else’s education and career, I was left with almost nothing.
“Like so many women, I looked after someone else’s needs ahead of my own and didn’t look after myself. And, whether it’s divorce or death, it’s important women can support themselves financially.”
Caralee says she did get advice from a lawyer, charging her an hourly rate, but no one advised her about the actual costs or money she was entitled to, so when consent papers were “shoved” in front her, she signed them. She was left almost financially ruined with two preschoolers to take care of and no career to fall back on.
But with a fire in her belly, Caralee went to university when she was 29 and was a lawyer by 34.
Not long after, she set up the Collective Family Law Group, now one of southeast Queensland’s top firms that focuses on family law.
Because of her own experience, Caralee says it was important to her that
A lot of women, particularly in a domestic violence situation, to are so scared that they just want leave and so don’t pursue things financially because they’re worried about upsetting their partner Family lawyer Caralee Fontenele
she offered a person’s first appointment with one of her experienced lawyers for free.
“A lot of women, particularly in a domestic violence situation, are so scared that they just want to leave and so don’t pursue things financially because they’re worried about upsetting their partner,” she says.
“Some just don’t have the strength and just want to move on, but afterwards they often regret it because financially they are left in such a bad way.”
Caralee says women usually stay in domestic violence situations because their power, sense of worth and confidence has been so decimated that it seems a better option to stay in a relationship where there is certainty for their children, particularly financially.
However, for her, she says achieving financial certainty through perseverance and hard work was such an incredible feeling, particularly as, being a New Zealand citizen, she’s not entitled to financial support from the government.
And it’s this sense of achievement that helps her to power through life with the “there’s nothing I can’t achieve” attitude.
Included in her long list of achievements is the publication of her third book, Nourishing You, a collection of more than 100 simple recipes that are gluten, dairy and sugar free.
Following on from her first two books, Real Food Pledge and Real Food Everyday, Caralee is donating all the money from the sale of her third book to Women’s Legal Services.
“It’s hoped that each of the 10 dancers will raise at least $30,000 and it’s hard to fundraise at the moment so I’m doing all that I can to reach my target,” she says.
In the lead-up to the May 15 event at the Brisbane City Hall, Caralee has weekly practices with a dance instructor who is putting her through her paces ahead of her two-minute Brazilian funk routine.
“I’ve never danced and am actually a dyslexic dancer, so when I’m told to move my left or right hand or leg, my brain really has to think hard – it’s very challenging for my brain,” she says.
“I find doing it by myself I’m much better. If I feel like I’m being watched I’m a little stiff, so I’ve only got a few weeks to get over that.”