THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
SOLO TRAVEL IS A LESSON IN TRUSTING YOURSELF – AND THE PEOPLE YOU MEET
The plan never was to make my first trip overseas alone. God forbid. I’d arranged to go with an older journalist friend. She was my landlady when I first moved to Melbourne for uni. Over the years she’d charmed me with tales of escapades in India and eventually convinced me to go there with her when I finished my degree.
Then, a fortnight before we were due to depart, she announced she couldn’t come.
She had no money. I’d been working three jobs to save for this, the greatest event of my uneventful life. And I already had a plane ticket, so I set off without her.
To India. Not an ideal first country to visit solo if you’ve never left home before, you might think. But in many ways it’s the perfect place for a solitary traveller.
Indians tend to be osmotic. When they see a stranger among them, they crowd into fill the emptiness.
Naturally there were many times during the months ahead when I felt lonely – sometimes unbearably so. But I was never alone. Every step of my journey through this vast, bewildering nation, strangers were looking out for me.
The retired colonel who rescued me on a busy train platform from petty crooks keen to separate me from my luggage. Another man who gently warned me against accepting an invitation to tea with a shifty guy I’d just met in the carriage. And Bakhtyar Khan, who I became friends with at Delhi airport after he asked me to mind his bags while he went to the bathroom.
We clicked immediately and, when we arrived in his home town of Bombay, Bakhtyar collected me every day on his motorbike and whisked me away on adventures designed to make me fall under the spell of his home city. It worked. We’ve been friends ever since and Mumbai is still one of my favourite cities.
I’ve returned to India dozens of times since, mostly by myself. I’ve shaken thousands of hands, posed for myriad photos with smiling families met seconds before, and never witnessed a wedding procession without being swept up in the celebrations.
I think travelling as a single, rather than as a couple or group, invites more of these serendipitous moments. It also increases the chances of being welcomed into strangers’ homes in a strange country. As someone who collects and tells stories for a living, there is no better forum for doing so than over a cup of tea, a plate of sweets or a just-cooked meal, sharing confidences with people in their living rooms.
Many writers have tried to explain the magic of travel but one of my favourite definitions is by Pico Iyer, who describes it as “an act of friendship”. I couldn’t agree more. If you venture into the world with an open
CHARACTER BUILDER
There are some traits that travellers only really develop, or realise fully, by going solo. Facing trials on the road with friends can strengthen bonds; facing trials alone strengthens individual character. There’s an inner courage that comes from confronting the world on your own. Over time, the inevitable tests of foreign travel instil a confidence in us to tackle the world head on, to venture confidently into the unknown. For me, this is travel’s greatest gift.
mind and heart there are few countries where you won’t be received warmly by the locals.
India is a superbly welcoming country but it’s not the only one. From Somaliland to Argentina, I’ve made friends who’ve taken me deep into their cultures and lives.
In Burma (now Myanmar) I met David in the hill town of Pyin Oo Lwin where he led me on hikes through scenic landscapes and whispered secrets about life’s hardships under the military junta. In Yangon, feisty grandmother Violet taught me the daily rituals and superstitions of Burmese life as we snacked on street foods across the capital. I learned how difficult life had been for her, lived mostly under dictatorship, but also how the human spirit can triumph in the most trying circumstances.
And in Madrid I’ve found it’s impossible to ever be alone. All I need to do is head out into the night in search of a good time and the locals will gladly oblige. As long as you’re present and up for a good time, you’re embraced with open arms and a kiss on each cheek.
Travelling solo is, more than anything, a lesson in trust. Trust in others but ultimately trust in yourself.
The downside is that there will always be moments of intense loneliness along the road. In a perfect world I’d spent solitary days exploring and then meet up with friends at night to share the day’s news and revel in their company.
In real life I juggle independent journeys and holidays with friends, because the security, trust and companionship they bring are priceless too.
If forced to choose, overall I’d prefer to travel by myself. The human connections can be harder to come by but they’re also often harder to forget.