LIFE WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS

SITTING BACK AND OBSERVING YOURSELF AND THE WORLD WE LIVE IN DOES NOT MEAN DISENGAGING

Over the past few years, I have become an observer of my ‘self’. At least I think it’s my ‘self’. I’m pretty sure it’s not anybody else’s. It might seem a little unusual, however I liken the observing to being like a person sitting on the side of a river watching the water, or in this case thoughts, go past and not grabbing or being grabbed by any one thing.

Allowing them to flow.

It is bizarre to observe a thought inspired by imagination created by the seemingly impossible linking of two or more random events that have no right to be tied together. It’s like what happened this morning. I’m walking down the drive and catch a glimpse of one of our black cats.

My brain sees him as a black leopard and the random thought goes “I better get those oranges off the tree in the back garden”.

Then I ask, “Where did that come from?” and I laugh.

I mean, I know the tree is in the back garden.

It’s been an interesting place to get to this space of observing and through it I have learnt – particularly when I am developing workshops, materials, seeking solutions, tackling an issue or challenge - that if I allow myself to relax, ask myself a question then go and do some other thing my brain uses the distraction to seek out insights and information, connecting experiences and ideas and brings them to awareness.

The brain is a powerful tool and linked to our state of “mind”, very much affected by how we view the world and ourself in it in that moment in time.

So if I am discomfited by something or happy about something it is difficult to find the space to observe and in the jargon of my hippy youth to just “be”.

When we can have a dispassionate view of ourselves moving through time, engaging with events and/or experiences it seems that we can disconnect somewhat from our ego and the expectations that come form identifying so strongly with “I”. Imagine having no expectation? Accepting a situation simply as that. Not projecting yourself into it to score a win, show how smart you are, argue a point, or debate someone on their view just because it’s different to your version of truth.

More often than not our views espoused are just an opinion which is just a judgment formed about something not necessarily based in fact or even knowledge to which, when the ego gets engaged, we cannot, and for some people will not, take a step back from.

You can recognise it in the ideology in oppositional politics.

So I generally just observe. Don’t get me wrong. I am fully engaged in living life to it’s best and loving it and it doesn’t mean that I haven’t got an ego.

Hell no.

That exists for sure however, I think it has been brought to heel to some degree by lessons learnt from hard experience, so it doesn’t get to play out so much.

It’s almost as though in my disconnect from self, I am accessing and engaging a stronger wisdom and that that connection can only happen when I am not my self. Now, there’s a thought for the week. Take care of your self.