Julian finds value of life in tragedy
Julian Sutherland has earned his Father’s Day celebration. As one of the city’s leading property figures, he walked away from the corporate world to raise his daughters after tragedy struck.
FOUR years ago, Julian Sutherland received the worst phone call of his life.
It was the middle of a work day and the father of four was busy building his property empire as managing director of Ray White Projects Gold Coast when his phone rang.
Asked to check on the welfare of his wife, Julian grabbed his keys and raced to her door.
“We had separated but we were still best friends and I loved her,” says Julian. “Which made it so much more difficult that I was the one who found that she had ended her life.”
But even worse was telling his four daughters that she was gone.
Ultimately, Julian realised it was time to make a decision.
It was the biggest decision of his life but also the best.
After decades establishing his career in the property industry – from making the first million-dollar sale on Mermaid’s now-Millionaires Row, to launching the Soul development in Surfers Paradise to his partnership with Ray White legends Andrew and Greg Bell – he walked away from it all.
Fatherhood was his new full-time job.
“Business is not everything,” says Julian.
“Those first couple of years after my wife’s death were the hardest of my life.
“I was so worried for the girls, and trying to
do everything I could for them but also trying not to let anyone down in the corporate world.
“I felt like I was failing everyone. It finally came to the point where I realised I just could not raise the kids the way that I wanted to and still work. So I made the decision to leave and just focus on them.
“Andrew and Greg Bell were fantastic, they understood. But not everyone did, I had worked so hard to get where I was. But I think most parents get it … with children, you get out what you put in.
“It’s not easy – there’s four of them and one of me. Every day I’m dealing with a river of emotions.
“But they are all amazing humans who I know will be great contributors to society, and they all have their mum’s beautiful, warm and giving personality.”
While the past four years have been difficult to navigate, Julian’s own childhood experience of losing a parent to suicide has helped him guide his girls.
Adopted as a baby, Julian’s adoptive father died when he was just 14 and he was quickly forced to become independent and resilient.
“My adoptive father was a diplomat. It was a very highstress job. I grew up in Bangkok, then we moved to New Zealand, then Canberra, then Sydney … then I was sent to a boarding school in Wellington.
“I was moved from pillar to post, and my passion was always to be a pilot. I grew to love aircraft from sitting at the airport watching planes take off and land and just wanting to see my parents.
“Dad suffered from depression and when I was 14 he took his life. I moved out of home then because I couldn’t cope. It was too volatile.
“I worked at a pizza shop connected to a servo and I lived alone in a little unit above it, just trying to succeed in school so I could join the air force. “Once I joined I discovered I had a medical issue so I only served for about three years. That’s when I fell into
real estate.
“As difficult as my childhood was, I am so thankful that it gave me the tools, the empathy and the understanding to be there for my girls when history repeated.
“I wanted them to have the support I didn’t always have and I will never regret the time I have spent with them these last years.”
However, Julian says just because he made the right choice when it came to his biggest decision, he still believes there are parts of parenting he could have done better.
But he says he has been supported by a network of other parents, especially mothers, who have rallied around him throughout his daughters’ schooling.
“I’m treated like a mum by the school and the parents,” he laughs.
“I get invited to the Mother’s Day functions and the mum lunches, they are so welcoming.
“The girls and I have the usual struggles that characterise the parent-teen relationship but I am so immensely proud of who they are and how they have grown up with such tenacity.
“But I can’t take credit for it all, there are plenty of lessons I have learned.
“One is that dads need to really listen to their children. My girls constantly tell me I just need to listen to their needs, not just tell them what they need.
“Raise your child to be responsible, don’t do it all for them. They will be better people in the end.
“And time is the biggest factor. As much time as I have spent with them now, that’s not how it was when they were young.
“Be careful with your time, because you never get it back. Find balance in your life – for your children, for your work, your play, your health and yourself.
“Life is short, if you spend every day at the office, the days turn to weeks and the weeks to years, you turn around and your children are three feet taller.
“Earlier in my career, I was travelling every week. When I think back now, I barely remember their early years because I was so immersed in business. I never stopped to smell the roses … and yet I had created the most beautiful roses in the world.”
With his girls now aged from 13 to 23, Julian is slowly stepping back into the business world, having launched his own property development and consultancy firm, Sutherland Group, just last year.
Perhaps it’s good karma for his stellar parenting effort but his business just happened to launch at a time when the property industry is booming.
“After leaving the air force, I sort of stumbled into real estate. I was living in Brisbane and went into the local CES office where I saw an ad for a commercial real estate agent at
Ray White Springwood,” he says. “I had no idea what I was doing. I remember someone asked what the net return was on a property and I didn’t even know what that was.
“But I took the time to learn and I loved it, then I moved to the Gold Coast and started working for Ray White Mermaid Beach. I sold the first million-dollar property on Albatross Ave and the Hedges Ave. That was in 1991, it just seems unheard of. Back in
those days, you couldn’t give away beachfront property in Palm Beach – no one wanted to live there.
“I kept climbing the ladder and I worked with some really interesting characters. I spent four years working with Harry Triguboff and I learned to work hard. I was fortunate to be successful, and fortunate again that I’m rejoining the corporate world at a time when the market is booming.
“The amount of inquiries we’re getting is unprecedented. Properties are going up by $500,000 in three months. There’s so much demand and that’s because our lifestyle is amazing. I know first-hand that this city is the best place in the world for families.”
But even as he relaunched his corporate career, Julian is cognisant to carefully manage his time – and that includes time giving back to the community, often with his girls by his side.
He says that having been so directly affected by mental health issues throughout his life, he dedicates time to volunteer with Rosies Outreach.
“There is a lot of mental illness in the homeless community and this is my way of trying to give back to help people in need. One of my daughters often comes with me and she loves it,” he says.
“These people are so worthy of our time. They’ve been brought low by mental illness, addiction and misfortune … they didn’t want this.
“The Rosies philosophy is to be an ear on the street and that’s what I try to be as a team leader.
“But talking to them is no different to talking to billionaires in my day job … everyone has a story to tell. And one is just as worthy as the other.”
And that’s the perfect parenting lesson from a man who delights in Father’s Day every day.
For support: Lifeline, 131 114, lifeline.org.au; Beyond Blue, 1300 224 636; Kids Helpline, 1800 551 800
I never stopped to smell the roses … and yet I had created the most beautiful roses in the world