ONE YEAR ON: KELLY’S KIDS KEEP SPIRIT ALIVE
IT has been 12 months since the city was rocked by the death of Kelly Wilkinson (right) – leaving three children without a mother.
Her sister Danielle Carroll and husband Rhys look after the children, along with five of their own. This week they remembered a loving mother by posing for a photo with her favourite flower (below) and telling the Bulletin of a traumatic year, including Kelly’s birthday – she would have been 28: “The kids wanted to sing, so we sang Happy Birthday... keeping her spirit and presence around us alive. It’s really difficult,” Ms Carroll says.
DECORATIONS lovingly crafted by children adorn a Gold Coast home while the strains of Happy Birthday ring out.
There is cake and music, but it is clear something is missing – the guest of honour Kelly Wilkinson.
It is August and the young mother’s family is celebrating what would have been her 28th birthday.
Kelly died three months’ earlier after being set on fire, allegedly by her estranged husband Brian Earl Johnston, in her Arundel backyard about 6.40am on April 20 last year.
Johnston was charged with murder and breaching both a domestic violence order and bail.
Months later, Kelly’s three children – all aged under 10 – requested a birthday party for their mother, Kelly’s sister Danielle Carroll told the Bulletin on Friday.
They made decorations and had a small, private disco in their own home.
“The kids wanted to sing, so we sang Happy Birthday,” she says. “At the end of it, they are like, ‘it’s weird singing Happy Birthday to no one’.
“I guess it’s more so keeping her spirit and presence around us alive.
“It’s really difficult. There is no sort of book or way that you should do things … We just sort of let the kids guide us. We try to celebrate her life.”
Ms Carroll and her husband Rhys Carroll – who have five children of their own – took in Kelly’s kids after her death.
This week the family, as well as Kelly’s father Reg, sisters Emma and Natalie, commemorated the anniversary
of her life in private.
A part of that included a trip to Kalbar to visit a festival of Kelly’s favourite flower – the sunflower.
While there they took family photos, each member holding a single sunflower.
The past year has been a difficult one for the family as they try to come to terms with their loss.
“For me it’s getting hard – I
don’t think I’ve actually dealt with what (happened to her),” Ms Carroll says. “For the kids, especially now we are getting further on, they are really mourning the loss of mum and dad. It’s so much more complex for their little brains.”
The children are now in school and doing well, playing afternoon sport to keep active.
Ms Carroll is not only coping with the loss of Kelly and looking after eight children under 12, but the family also lost their own mother weeks before Kelly died.
“A lot of days I don’t want to keep going ... There are those moments you absolutely lose it, you are crying and shaking and then it’s just really, ‘right, you have to keep going’.”
For Emma Wilkinson the past year has been tough in different ways.
Emma, who lives in Canberra for work, describes the months as “lonely”.
“Kelly would call me every
day and I would call my mum every day,” she says.
“It’s a bit hard when neither of them are around.”
Emma says her work and friends have been supportive and she makes her way to the Gold Coast when she can, mostly for special occasions.
Despite their own pain the family are also looking to do what they can to prevent another family going through the same thing. They have met with the Women’s Safety and Justice Taskforce, which is reviewing how prevention services, police and the justice system deal with violence against women.
Kelly’s family wants to look at tougher punishment for people who breach domestic violence orders.
“I’d like to focus more on the prosecution stage – what is actually being done to these perpetrators?” Danielle says.
In April last year the family told the Bulletin that Kelly had contacted police at least
twice in the weeks before her death, alleging Johnston breached a domestic violence order (DVO).
“From what we have experienced, when the DVO is handed out there is no actual follow up,” Danielle says. “It’s a bit of a grey area, what consists of a breach as well.
Emma says she would also like consequences for domestic violence perpetrators who are not truthful.
“There is no punishment for lying.”
Johnston is still before the courts with his charges committed to the Supreme Court. He is yet to enter a plea. In the meantime, Kelly’s family hope they can find some peace for her children.
“I know it’s hard to say one year one, it’s really hard to see any sort of light at the end of the tunnel,” Danielle says.
“I just hope the kids have some sort of normal upbringing and try and have a normal life.”