Defending our children from sexual predators
The shocking case before Southport District Court this week is just a sample of the unsavoury surprises our kids are uncovering online
EVERY parent should be a “paedo-hunter”.
And the shocking case before Southport District Court this week proves just why.
Police, solicitors and even child safety advocates were stunned after a Gold Coast father faced court when caught in a “vigilante paedophile catcher” sting.
The court was told 36-yearold Michael John Hartfield was using an adult dating website when he arranged to meet up with a fictitious 14-year-old girl named “Katie” for sex.
When Hartfield turned up to the agreed meeting point, the member of the public who had been posing as Katie confronted him, took a photo of Hartfield’s car and then reported the incident to police, who later arrested Hartfield.
Hartfield pleaded guilty to one count of using electronic communications to procure a child under 16 with a circumstance of aggravation and was handed a sentence of 18 months’ imprisonment, wholly suspended for two years.
While this undercover paedo-hunter got his man, this is not what I propose for other parents.
Indeed, police have discouraged people from taking the law into their own hands, warning they can place themselves at unacceptable risk or jeopardise current police investigations.
I trust my children, but I don’t trust other social media users. Which is why, when my daughter informed she has an IBF, I was shocked.
But there is no doubt that we should all be our own detectives within the home.
In fact, I’ve already uncovered my own disturbing evidence.
Given my son was born the same year as the first iphone, I’ve spent my parenting life learning about the risks and dangers of technology – from cyber-bullying to addiction to grooming.
The few social media accounts my kids have are private and the passwords are shared with me so I can check on messaging and posts at any time.
But the more I learn, the more I realise I don’t know.
I’m a white mum in my mid40s, Facebook is my natural digital habitat, but to my kids I may as well be playing with an abacus.
And when it comes to Snapchat and Tiktok, I understand them about as well as high school calculus.
So now, my ignorance is on full display … and it’s dangerous.
I trust my children, but I don’t trust other social media users. Which is why, when my daughter informed she has an IBF, I was shocked.
First of all, I assumed she had her letters confused and was complaining of an irritable bowel, but it turns out one of the newest tech trends for teens is to find your own “internet best friend”.
Alarm bells immediately rang: how did she find this person and was it actually a 50year-old man?
I was told not to worry, they’ve already Face Timed (!) and her IBF is, in fact, a 13year-old girl from Illinois in the USA.
While this is essentially a modern-day pen pal, it’s still a serious parenting fail on my part. What if it was a 50-yearold man? Where was the discussion we needed to have about this trend and how to navigate it safely?
It’s proof that, as parents, monitoring technology is not just a matter of checking phones but constantly checking in.
Which is precisely how I discovered that this same daughter of mine is interested in meeting some of the girls her age that live in our neighbourhood who set up “beach hangs” via Snapchat. Um, that’s a solid nope. Not to sound like my mother, but who are their parents? Who are they? Do they do drugs? Will there be boys there?
It’s no laughing matter, keeping tabs on the modern teen is hard work. I’m both grateful and gratified that I have a close and trusting relationship with both of my children, but the challenges are still there.
In fact, intercepting the inappropriate messages is the easy part. Despite having private accounts, both of my children have been sent explicit links in their DMS, as well as requests from “sugar daddies”. WTAF?
And on an even more serious side, there are countless stories of “upstanding, family men” who have been busted doing some disgusting things online – and in person. Teachers, coaches, church leaders, fathers … no title guarantees safety.
So I completely understand just why this vigilante paedophile catcher” did what he did.
But the best protection we can give our children is to watch what is happening in our own homes, right under our children’s noses.
We are the best line of defence against the predators.