Don’t be the GC’S worst neighbour
As our city swells in size, we’re welcoming a new wave of neighbours. Here’s how – and how not – to be the best behaved resident next door
What’s worse than falling out with your best friend? Falling out with your best friend who lives next door.
With our surging population and soaring density, the Gold Coast is welcoming a boom in our number of new neighbours. But as our boundaries shrink ever closer, perhaps it’s time for a refresher in how to be the best behaved resident next door.
Where once we had a little more space to spread out, now there’s little room for error … and even less patience to spare.
And let’s be honest, it’s not like we have the greatest track record.
Not only has there been open hostility towards the general movement of southern migrants relocating to our streets, but it seems we’re all too often ready to rumble with local residents we’ve known for years. As they say, familiarity breeds contempt.
But still, there is absolutely no excuse when it comes to some of our worst neighbourhood offenders.
In June last year, a man was alleged to have used a wheelie bin as a “battering ram” against his female neighbour as part of a long-running neighbourhood dispute in Paradise Point.
He was found not guilty, but the court was told that there had been “an extraordinary history of complaints” between the neighbours.
In fact, she had already been convicted of assaulting him on a previous occasion and had taken him to QCAT so many times that she had been described as a “vexatious litigant”.
Then there was the case of the Hollywell man who parked in his neighbour’s driveway, then proceeded to call her a ‘fat bitch’ before knocking her to the ground and pushing her husband. He was convicted of two charges of common assault.
Stay classy, Gold Coast.
Look, we may never be a city of Ramsay Streets, but we can be better than this.
So here are my top tips to not only prevent an all-in brawl on your own street, but perhaps even earn you that cup of sugar from a neighbour.
PARK CONSIDERATELY
It doesn’t matter where you live,
parking is at a premium. So please, pay attention to where and how you park your car.
Are you blocking a driveway? A front gate? Too close to a corner? Are you creating a visibility hazard or just asking for someone to reverse straight into you?
And while anyone can park on the street, try to stay in your own space. It’s just good manners to keep the curb of each person’s home available for themselves and their visitors.
KEEP THE NOISE DOWN AND THE NOTIFICATIONS UP
When you’re blasting your best Spotify list, think about whether everyone really wants to listen to the best of Steel Panther. Are there children listening? Even if it’s just good old Taylor Swift, try to keeping the noise indoors – and the doors closed.
Meanwhile, if it’s a party and the noise is inevitable … drop a note in the
letterbox. Or, better yet, invite the neighbours to attend. Nothing turns noise into music like being part of the party.
DON’T BRANCH OUT
If a neighbour’s tree trimmings fall in your yard, does anyone care if you throw it back over to them?
Yes! I do!
I know it’s legal to cut their tree and return the branches over the fence, but who does this? It feels like the most passive aggressive move ever. You cut them, you keep them.
WATCH – AND LISTEN – TO YOUR PETS
This may seem extreme, but record what your pets get up to when you’re gone.
Did you know your dog howls every time you leave? No? Well, I sure do!
Conversely, record what your neighbour’s dog gets up to when they
leave. Then, when they’re sleeping/ working, play it back to them! (Just kidding, don’t do this. Instead, please refer to the next point.)
IF THERE’S A PROBLEM, ASK NICELY
Don’t rage text, don’t drop doggy deposits on their lawn, just knock and politely discuss what the problem is.
Is it awkward? Hell yeah. But it’s the only civilised option – other than to grin and bear it.
DON’T BE BEST FRIENDS
If all has gone well and you’ve built a beautiful relationship with your neighbours … beware.
Remember, good fences mean good neighbours. You need that boundary to go the distance.
After all, what’s worse than falling out with your best friend? Falling out with your best friend who lives next door.