Confessions of a Glitter Strip party hub bouncer

A Surfers Paradise nightspot security guard has lifted the lid in a candid chat on nightshift work and what it’s actually like to patrol the bustling tourism magnet in the heart of the Glitter Strip.

The bouncer, speaking anonymously, recounts candidly his biggest brawl, choking people out when outnumbered, being hit on by female patrons to get entry, and getting so bored at times you “look forward to fights”.

‘BIGGEST FIGHT’

“The biggest fight I ever had was me and another [guard] versus 10 people...that was probably the worst one. Now everyone’s just scared, unless you’re a little short guy. Everyone knows the shortest guy is gonna go at you. He’s always the tough one. It’s mainly old people too, the young ones are scared when they see you’re security but the old ones will go at you.”

‘GOTTA WHACK EM’

“But it’s cleaned up a lot. Probably because the guards just do whatever they want,

“Sometimes you have to - it’s against licensing or whatever but sometimes if people don’t listen you’ve just gotta whack them. You’ve gotta do what you gotta do, it’s self-defence - and the cops got our backs too. I choked two people out. I didn’t mean to but when you’ve got eight versus one what can you do. You’ve got to do what you gotta do.”

CLUBS NEVER CHANGE

“You know people come in to have fun and then you have people standing in the corner being a creep staring at you, those are the ones we kick out. We have people falling asleep, had someone pass out last night. Once you pass out you’re out. Clubs you know, it’s always been the same. Probably will always be the same. Sometimes we’ll go through the crowd [to break up a fight] and they think we’re pushing them and then they want to fight. You’ve got to double back all the time and try to be nice to get through the crowd but half the time when it’s a big fight we’re just going to push through.

THE ‘GREEN, ORANGE, RED’ SITUATIONS

“Some [guards] have their worth, and some, they’re probably sh*t but they kick out the greens - code green is the minimum drunk code, orange is a fight about to start and a red is a fight.

“You have the sh*t guards that do the greens, but then you have the ones who stand in the back and do nothing. But they’re ready for the reds.

“You’re not going to want to show yourself all the time because [patrons] will forget that you’re there in the background and if they play up and then boom, you’re the first one there.”

WEIRD, DIFFICULT PATRONS

“This one guy, we tried to kick him out, and he just grabbed a pot plant and literally ran at full speed. We’ve had people steal those slippery floor signs. Someone walked out with three, like come on, what the hell are you doing? I just leave those ones. Like you can have it.

“There was this lady who was going mental like she had these, like past traumas where she didn’t want to be touched and like we’re trying to ask her ‘Can you just leave peacefully’ and then she started screaming and saying like ‘No, I don’t want to be touched’.

“But if a guard is telling you to leave you’ve got to leave like, we’re not going to touch you unless we have to force you to leave or you’re refusing to leave, it gives us the right to go hands on. You get bad reviews but that’s the job.”

GIRLS COMING ONTO YOU

“You hear from DJS all the girls are going to be all over you and it’s the same for security, we’re trying to let them in but they’re gonna flirt, they’re gonna touch you, they’re gonna try kiss you just to get free entry. We’re not out here to hit on girls. That’s one thing everyone says security does. I mean some of them probably but most of us just want to do our job and get out of there. Imagine dealing with drunk people for eight to twelve hours a day. We get hated, we get loved. It is what it is, seccy’s are just here to do our job. We’re pretty much frontline to police, let’s be honest... with drugs, with bikies, we’re pretty much frontline.

“No copper is going to come and help you unless they’re on the ground.”

‘LOOK FORWARD TO FIGHTS’

“You don’t have scared guys coming to be security guards, especially in nightclubs.

“These guys have probably been through something, had experience with violence in their life. That’s pretty much where we come from.

“There’s a point where no one scares you. We’re not going to back down just because you’ve got a knife. That’s what we look forward to, to be honest, seccy’s look forward to fights. As stupid as it sounds, you don’t want a fight every night but you can imagine us just standing around waiting for something to happen. Some are sick of it, some can’t help it, some don’t get it but when you want to fight, you want to fight and it’s fun. When you get hit in the mouth it’s pretty cool. This short guy landed [a punch] on me. Bruised up my face.”

LATE FINISHES

“Sometimes I finish at seven in the morning, you don’t get sleep on busy days. Like today I only got one hour of sleep. Pretty much doing a 24-hour roster.”

SURFERS VIBE

“Surfers has got a lot better [recently] because cops walk around with wands, so anyone they think is trouble they’ll pull aside and check them - bags and everything,

“I think the worst one was probably this guy, the cops searched him and he had a machete, that’s probably the scariest one. Can you imagine him using it?

“Like you get stabbings in Brisbane but coming down the GC? It’s a tourist attraction. You have machetes out here and you use that.

“That’s one way to change the whole perspective on the Gold Coast being a place where everyone comes.

“We had one guy come in, he went to get his license and a screwdriver fell out of his pocket.”

‘NOTHING SCARES YOU’

“You get to the point where nothing scares you - even the big [guys], you get punched in the face, it is what it is, you go again.

“You get to a breaking point where nothing scares you and you’ll take any kind of risk. I guess it’s scary, dangerous.”