The meaning of life after Chumpy
Ellidy Pullin settles into her new reality with new opportunities, new responsibilities and new hope. And, one day, perhaps new love
The kelpie-cross sits watchfully on the grass, her oversized ears pricked and her caramel eyes laser-focused. This is Rummi, a working dog who has made it her business to watch over the object of her affection, Ellidy Pullin. Though wordless, the connection between the two is loud and clear … and gives new meaning to the term guide dog.
Because from the moment that Ellidy lost the love of her life, champion snowboarder Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin, Rummi has been there to bring her back from the brink.
It’s hard for Ellidy to comprehend that it’s been almost four years since Chumpy died in a tragic spearfishing accident at Palm Beach, and more than two years since their miracle baby was born. She still speaks of Chumpy in the present tense, even as she acknowledges that she has finally, at last, started processing her grief.
Helping her down that long, anything-but-straightforward path is their daughter, Minnie Alex Pullin, conceived with sperm posthumously taken from the former Olympian.
And keeping constant watch over the little family is fur baby Rummi. Remembering those dark days in the winter of 2020, after the shocking trauma of Chumpy’s sudden death, Ellidy said it was only the black dog that gave her a reason to wake up in the morning.
“Rummi needed me. And I needed that,” said Ellidy, sipping coffee at Currumbin’s dogfriendly Dune Cafe.
“She was the reason that I would get up in the morning. She’s a kelpie, I couldn’t skip her walks, and it’s what kept me going.
“We would get up at 5am and we would go up and down the beach for an hour, she was my therapy and my meditation. She kept me grounded when everything felt so surreal.
“Chumpy loved Rummi so much, I used to feel like the third wheel with them, but now she never leaves my side.
“I know there is a part of her still waiting for Chumpy to come back and it makes me so sad because I know exactly what that feels like. I’m trying to help her now in the way she helped me. We will never stop loving him, we will never stop missing him, but we both have to keep living.”
Ellidy said she had a recurring dream where she and Rummi would see Chumpy again, smiling at the thought of Rummi’s tail-spinning joy in this imagined reunion. However, she said she was at last beginning to settle into her new reality, with new jobs, new responsibilities and new hopes on the horizon.
And even, one day, perhaps new love and another baby.
“I have sperm if I wanted another Chumpy bubba,” said Ellidy.
“But I don’t think I will. I have Minnie and she is just so perfect and so much like him. She is everything I dreamed of and being her mother has done so much for me, but I don’t think I need to do it alone again. I do see myself having a baby one day with someone else, maybe in like five years’ time, but I can’t really see myself getting married.
“I could definitely be with someone solid and long-term, but I’ll always be Ellidy Pullin.
“I’m not at the point yet to be dating someone, I’ve had little random flings that were 100 per cent not going anywhere, just little holiday things.
“I don’t know why, when I’m on holiday I guess it’s a break from reality. What goes on in Bali can stay in Bali. But I couldn’t imagine bringing anyone home.
defi“
I could nitely be with someone solid and long-term, but I’ll always be Ellidy Pullin...
“Right now I’m just really happy with the three of us – me, Minnie and Rummi.”
Considering what she has been through in the last few years, Ellidy is deservedly savouring this moment of peace. Her podcast Darling, Shine! with best friend Chloe Fisher has been a huge success, plus she has signed deals with everything from Schmackos dog treats, Covergirl makeup and the LIV golf tournament.
But even as she forges on with life, every success brings its own pain, too.
“When we first lost Chumpy, I just couldn’t even comprehend my grief, the only thing that would get through to me was seeing other people upset, including Rummi, and that would just break my heart,” she said.
“Then I was so intent on having Minnie and getting through that first year, it’s really only been in the last 18 months that I have started to process it all and really feel the grief. When I finally started to feel the pain and the weight of what had happened, I thought, okay, I’m normal.
“Honestly, I felt like a freak when I wasn’t feeling anything … it was actually awful. I couldn’t form a tear, it was such shock, grief and trauma.
“But now I miss Chumpy more in a way than even before. Just watching Minnie grow, I so want to share it with him, he would be so proud of her, she is so much like him.
“Sometimes when I go to bed at night, it is lonely … you want someone to download all those things that have happened in the day and I don’t want to call a friend or my mother and just dump it all on them. You just want to talk about the little things as a parent, too. All the funny or silly things that Minnie does, no one cares as much as her parents, and it’s sad that’s only me. I would just love to hear Chump talk about her, he used to be so infatuated with Rummi … he would have been the best father.”
Adding to the pain, Ellidy’s own father, Peter Vlug, died just over two years ago, after fighting an aggressive brain cancer. She said he was diagnosed with stage four glioblastoma shortly after
Chumpy’s death.
“Chump and my dad were so close, his death really affected us all so deeply,” she said.
“I really think Chumpy’s death affected Dad physically. I’m not normally ‘woo-woo’, but I really do think it played a part.”
However, Ellidy said despite this difficult run, she was incredibly fortunate to have her mum, brother and friends surround and support her.
She said she felt like it was a new season now, especially with best friends Chloe and her husband DJ Fisher now expecting a longed-for baby of their own.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am for them. I was really starting to give up, thinking surrogacy would be the best way forward for them, and then it happened.
“I’m so looking forward to the next few weeks, we have Chloe’s baby shower that I’m organising, Fisher is performing the next day at Coolangatta and then the
weekend after that is the Chumpy Pullin Foundation Gala in Melbourne.”
Ready to face the future, Ellidy said she was motivated to live a full life and be the best parent she could be – if not with Chumpy, then for him. Having recently sold the house they bought together, she said she was building foundations for the next stage. “Something awful happened but so many beautiful things came from it,” she said. “It’s funny, I was not at all career-driven before this happened. Chumpy was the one doing amazing things, like snowboarding around the world and just killing it. I used to tell him he’s so bloody talented, could he stop being so good at everything?
“Then he was gone and Chloe and I started the podcast … which is something he totally would have done, in fact he was just about to start a podcast. And so much has grown from that,
I’m proud of how much
I’ve achieved.
“I’m also proud to be as vulnerable as I have been, it’s okay to let people in and it’s okay to talk about scary things like death. It’s the only thing certain about life, but it’s also a wake-up call to go live.
“I like thinking about the future now. I love imagining our lives in 10 years, when Minnie is 12 and Rummi is 15, and they have grown up together just so close.
“I love that she has her protector with her.”
As Ellidy drives away, a little tail can be seen above her tail lights, like a rudder guiding her home.