SHOWS ABOUT KIDS MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY AS A PARENT
My life has been vastly improved by an obsession with TV. I diagnosed my husband’s appendicitis – no formal training, just years of House, ER, All Saints and Grey’s Anatomy on my CV. I’ve learnt culinary terms from Masterchef, music appreciation from The Voice and a sense of style from Sex and the City. One area where TV viewing has been no help: parenting. And two new shows about children are sure pushing my guilt buttons.
First up, Child Genius. In SBS’S six-parter (starting Mon., Nov. 12 at 7.30pm), youngsters are quizzed for the title of Australia’s top clever clogs. The kids are impressive – they do complex maths in their heads, and have vast knowledge of space and a recall to rival The Mentalist’s Patrick Jane. As their back stories reveal, these successful academics have highly supportive families. “I’ve spent basically my life trying to challenge Regina,” says Kenny of his close relationship with his daughter, who gained admittance to Mensa at age 3. These tiger parents make me, with my laissez faire attitude to my sprogs’ school performance, feel a failure.
Then there’s Don’t Stop the Music (starts Sun., Nov. 11 at 7.40pm; ABC), a doco showing the transformative power of introducing a music program to a disadvantaged WA school. The show’s drawcard is former music teacher Guy Sebastian. But the refrain that sticks in my head comes from the series’ Dr Anita Collins, who explains how beneficial learning an instrument can be for a child’s development, activating auditory, visual, motor and processing skills simultaneously. Crucial, it may be, but also painful, if she’d heard my children’s attempts at practising the guitar, piano or, worst, drums! I was relieved when these passing interests faded. Now, after watching this, I question my mothering skills.
In Michael Moore’s Where to Invade Next (now on Stan), a memorable segment involved Finland’s revolutionary finding that the ditching of homework produced a meteoric rise in the country’s education results. It reduced stress and promoted creativity, resilience and a pursuit of personal interests. In Child Genius, you can see that some participants may do well academically but seem isolated socially. Then again, in Don’t Stop the Music, involvement in the program turned marginalised children into more confident socialisers.
Whichever way you turn, there is guilt to be felt. To push your children with their academic studies and to persist with an instrument? Or let them follow their own path out of school hours? (And does that include permission to spend every waking hour on Fortnite?)
Help! I’m stuck in the “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” parent trap. Maybe I’ll just have to go and rewatch Packed to the Rafters for guidance. Julie and Dave always seemed to get mumming and dadding right.